Thursday, May 29, 2008
Anyway, the doc said that it looked really bad. He said he couldn't say for sure that it was a spider, but something bit me and I am clearly having a bad reaction to it. He also said it was infected and so I am now on Zyrtec for the reaction and an antibiotic for the infection. he said if it doesn't get better soon, to come back because spider bites (or I guess other insect bites...) can be really serious and this was a nasty one. He most definitely did not make fun of me for coming to the doctor or over reacting, so that's good!
As soon as I saw the look on his face I was really glad I went to the doctor. I am also glad I already had my antibiotics before I got my last comment! If I had still been hesitating to go, that one would have talked me in to it for sure! Thanks for all your advice. I am sure I will be better in no time!
I point this out to Nick and he seems unimpressed. He says it looks infected, and for the love of god stop touching it. I try to oblige. The thing is, I CANNOT leave it alone. I catch myself scratching as soon as I forget I am not suppose to. I wake up in the night scratching. WHAT THE HELL. It then started oozing. Wow, this is really a sick post. At least I am not including pictures. It took everything in me not to take them and load them, but really, who wants to see that? I don't even want to see it and it is on my arm!
I keep thinking it will surely go away. I am on board with Nick on it just being infected, but the second bump is making me question it a little. When I got to work yesterday I showed Tarp and Justin and they decided it looked like....Poison Ivy. Here is the catch. I am not actually allergic to poison ivy. They still think it is some bad reaction to something and I need to go get something to cover that shit up quick. (I am sure they were worried about my well being here and not that it might possibly spread to them or anything)
I run to kroger and go to grab so anti-itch cream and a bandage. I am on the phone with Charing who was smart enough to tell me ask the pharmacist what I can take because of the fertility stuff. Score one for her being on top of things. The pharmacist said that he was pretty sure that it was... SPIDER BITES! Yes. Feel free to squirm in your seat now. He said he can see the puncture wounds by each welt, and that he was pretty sure that was what it was.
I cannot begin to tell you how this makes my skin crawl. A spider bite. No, no. MULTIPLE spider bites! I like to think that spiders and I don't actually live in the same world. I don't mess with them. They don't mess with me. The idea of one getting all up on me and actually taking bites out of my arm is just HORRIFYING! So...here is my question to you. Have you all ever had a spider bite? I put everything on it the pharmacist told me to, but it is still really red and really itchy and kinda looks broken out. The size of the welts seem to be going down, but the redness is spreading. Would it be over reacting to go to the doctor? I mean, people like, lose limbs from spider bites, right? Am I over reacting because it was a SPIDER? A nasty eight legged spider crawling on me...and now I am itchy, itchy, itchy...I'm not over reacting, right? RIGHT??
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Nick ended up taking the day off work too. We have been doing a little (big) bathroom remodeling project. I will get some pics up for you all soon. We are actually working on the bathroom we already have, not the addition. This work included pulling up all the flooring down to the sub floor and replacing all the wood, then the actual floor. While we were at it we went ahead and bought a new vanity and sink. Now we just need to change the mirror, patch the wall and paint. It already looks really amazing in there. Unfortunately for me in order to do all this work the bathroom was out of commission for most of the day Saturday and half the day Sunday. It is our only bathroom...and my bladder doesn't take well to being told it CAN'T do what it wants...really it was more that my mind kept telling me how thirsty I was...but I knew better. I made it through the day with only two trips to alternate bathroom locations. All in all a successful renovation!
Anyway, Nick stayed home to finish up the bathroom and I stayed home and did a bunch of nothing. I watch the Grey's finale (which I enjoyed, but did cry during), two episodes of Top Chef, three episodes of season one of Lost (LOVE that show) and then took a three hour nap. I did manage to pull myself together long enough to made a good dinner, and then went right back to the couch to watch a movie with Nick. All in all it made for a good implantation day! Now I guess I should try to get some sleep...
Monday, May 26, 2008
Me, Charing and Carter. No way did we let him fall right off the swing onto his head right after this picture was taken. I mean, how could that happen with one of us on each side. I most definitely didn't think he was getting down and give him a little push to assist...which lead to the head to ground contact. Absolutely not.Ryan and Arielle looking pretty adorable
The guys playing Corn Hole...
Just a boy and his bat...a shot to make his daddy proud!Boo and Charing Boo, Chris and RhiCater with his ImaEllie enjoying the nice day...we actually had a pack of wild dogs running around this little cookout...there were six in total...and they all wanted to be under our feet at all times.I am now realizing how many pictures I actually took of Carter...but I do love him! I took this one while he was sitting on my lap. I also love my camera...The wiffle ball game. My team was completely crushed, but the other team nicely called it a tie. Scott and Morgan, who are both going to play on our flag football team in the bluegrass state games..we are gonna be awesome.And finally Candice and Davis. His poor little eyes are so red from manning the grill all night. The price you pay to be a good host...
Friday, May 23, 2008
House-Did you see that season finale?? I wasn't even a fan of Amber. Seriously, I haven't been watching the show long and she was kinda bitchy. If her and Wilson had broken up I would never have thought twice about her...but the heart ache....them laying in the hospital bed, both knowing she was going to die...good lord.
Grey's Anatomy-I haven't actually watched the finale from last night, so this post will be about last weeks episode. OH MY GOD. The girl with the brain tumor who thought she had a boyfriend but then they convinced her she made him up because of the tumor and she was SOBBING and then they take her into surgery and the boyfriend turns out to be real and shows up, but it's to late and she DIED! Seriously people, I was a puddle of tears on the couch. The boyfriend was crying...her last thought was that he wasn't real, and HE WAS! heartache.
American Idol-I just love David Cook and I maybe cried a little out of joy when he won...but really just a little teary eyed...not rolling tears or anything. That would be weird. No way did that happen. Never mind...skip American Idol all together....
Brother's and Sisters-Okay, maybe the fertility stuff just hit a little close to home on this one, but I could really understand the pain...and then the love at the brothers wedding...and the fact that the boyfriend's parents wouldn't come, but then the dad sent the cuff links...*sob*
Lost-Why would Claire leave her baby?? WHY?? Why did they kill Charlie? Why can't Jack and Kate be happy? I am almost scared to watch the season finale next week because you know people are going to die...people like Jin who will never know his daughter! WHY??
The Office-Jim just wanted to propose to Pam. It broke my heart to see his sweet little heart broken when Andy stole his moment...bastard.
30 Rock-Lemon thought she was pregnant, and even though she was single and she was overwhelmed she was so excited. She totally embraced it....and then she found out it was a false positive due to eating to many cheese puffs...just horrible....
Okay, that's all I can really think of now. This might not be my best post...it really shines a light on how much I watch TV, and even more on how I might kinda feel like the TV characters are real people...hmm...yep, I am sure it's all the hormones...
Thursday, May 22, 2008
I talked a lot with Doc about the bleeding issue. I have been thinking about it a lot, and really I have had spotting in the middle of my cycle for ages. It was actually the first thing I had going on when I went to the doctor for what eventually led to my endometriosis diagnosis. I don't seem to have the problem when I am on no hormones, but whenever I was on birth control or any hormone treatments I seem to just bleed all the time.
Doc really wants to get the spotting to stop, so he is adding some extra hormones to the mix. In addition to the Clomid that I already took this month, I am now taking estrogen. Then, three days after ovulation, I will start taking progesterone. Talk about one big ball of hormones! All of you just get ready for the crazy now! I did ask him if these new hormones would increase my chance of pregnancy, and he said there was no data to support that, but that it should prevent the early spotting. I am so glad I asked because I know I would have talked myself into thinking the new hormones made this would fix everything....which clearly they will not.
I am excited. I am hopeful. I am also ready to move into IVF with not regrets and no questions of if we did all we could. We are covering all bases. All prayers and well wishes are appreciated. Keep your fingers crossed!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Finally he decided it was time when he found out that both his father and brother had recently been to the doctor, and both been given sleep studies. They both found out they had sleep apnea. Nick has always had a very hard time getting real rest at night. He constantly wakes up and tosses and turns. He figured there was a good chance he also had the old apnea, so he got himself (I got him) and PCP.
His physical appointment was yesterday morning (he was not a fan of the fasting part of the blood work) and everything looked good. They gave him an EKG, which I thought was kinda crazy, but whatever. They then scheduled him for a sleep study for last night! They got right on it....Anyway, he had to be there at 8:30 last night. We go to bed around midnight, so I really thought it would be tough for him, but they let him lay there and watch TV until eleven. Then I guess it was lights out and sleep time. He said he was covered in sensors and that it was uncomfortable, but he was able to fall asleep in about half an hour.
They woke him up at six am and told him that he most definitely has sleep apnea. Now he gets a really cool Darth Vader type mask to sleep in every night. I am sure it is extremely sexy....he has to go back and do the study again with the mask on so they can figure out his settings and then he will be good to go. I am just so excited for him to actually get a good nights sleep. His brother and dad say that it has completely changed their lives. Chris actually said that he goes to bed around midnight and for the first month he would wake up at like four thirty feeling more rested than he ever has before...totally worth the Darth Vader mask!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Here is the new path that nick put in that leads from the driveway to the back yard.Then along that right side fence we have a bed of wild flowers and zaniasThe back right corner was always a really shady spot where we could never really get grass to grow, so Nick turned it in to a new bed.This will be easier to see when everything really grows in, but these are our fruit and vegetable beds. We are growing green, yellow and banana peppers, carrots, onions, broccoli, watermelon, green beans, squash, pumpkins and strawberries. We will see if we can handle all that...The strawberries are nearly ready to be picked...Nick built the handy little cover to keep all the birds out of the strawberry bed. Last year they took them all...And here is the new patio that Nick put in. We love it.These are a couple of new beds he put in around the new patioWe got these rose begonia's and I just love them...After all the work in the yard was done, we went out to dinner with Ryan and Arielle and Boo and Chris. Ryan and Arielle came over after dinner for some Mario cart on the Wii. Nick was a happy guy!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
So how am I going, you ask? Well...I told Boo and Missy that I was going to have to sit this one out and Boo just wasn't having it. I told her I was fine with it...for them to go without me, but she went ahead a bought me a ticket anyway! She is a wonderful big sister who hates for me to miss things...but I SWEAR that was not the point of the post! I really was fine with missing it...but I am no SO EXCITED that I get to go. Thanks Boo!
In completely unrelated news, I am back on the Clomid. Today is day three of the five day cycle, so I am half way done. I wonder if I will be on Clomid during the IVF? I actually find myself thinking a lot about the IVF cycle. I do still have a small bit of hope for this last IUI cycle, but I guess I just don't have any faith in it for us anymore. I don't think it is a bad place to be. It is really where the doc told us to be from the beginning. It just took me a couple of really tries to realize that he knows what he is talking about. He had little hope in IUI, but he did have lots and lots of faith in IVF. We are now on the same track, and excited to start the step that the doc thinks might actually give us a baby!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Now, here is the thing. Did you know they have an American Idol tour? I had no idea. So this means the top ten contestants, all of whom I love (especially David Cook whom I will be voting for nonstop next Tuesday), will be traveling the nation putting on their show. And their show is coming to my home town. Like five minutes from my house...AND I REALLY WANT TO GO! I just don't know if I can allow myself to go from a new avid couch fan to actually joining the mass of AI enthusiasts who would actually pay $68 to see the show (they actually have upper arena tickets for less, but if I was to go, I wouldn't want to be that far away. no point in going if you can't actually see anything...). I mean, what do they even sing? Do they take turns, or do they all sing together? Is the concert full of only 13 year old David Archuletta fans? How do I know??
To make matters worse, my friend at work just bought tickets. She is so excited, and I know I will be so jealous when the concert comes around and she heads off to see all my favorite little Idols....but still...$68. Really more like $75 when you get all the tax and fees worked in. We are super tight on money right now what with vacation coming (god only knows how much gas alone will cost us) and the very likely IVF approaching, I just don't think I can do it. I didn't really mean to talk myself out of going while writing the post...but oh well. I will be so jealous when they come to town...
**also, not sure why I would be embarrassed to tell you I like the most popular show on TV, when I have already told you of our love of Futurama and the X-files...those two gotta be a little more nerdy that being an American Idol fan...**
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Where have you been all my life? As soon as I tasted your cherry sweet caffeine free goodness I wanted to cry. How lucky am I that someone realized the deliciousness of a Shirley Temple and managed to put it in an easy to purchase can. You make my days better my dear friend. I hope that we can continue this relationship for the rest of our lives. Thanks for everything...
Lots of Love,
Dear Sweet Tea,
Why must your torment me so? With all of your sugary sweet goodness. You are all I ever want. When I go out to eat I am always drawn to you...and now they have you for $1 at McDonald's...ONE DOLLAR! How could I say no to you? You are so bad for me, and yet you taste so good...Still I must tell you that our love affair must end. I blame you and only you for the weight I have recently put on. It has nothing to do with the second helpings or the cookies and pies. It is you old friend. And you must go. I will miss you.
I Will Always Remember,
Hola mi amigo. I know you have been upset with me lately, and I feel that I should explain. I do see how nice it is outside, and I hear you calling me to join you on the patio, but I need some space right now. You see, the old surgeon general made this big to do about how you are bad for me right now, so although I love you and our summer fun, I just need some space. maybe sometime over the next two weeks we can get together and "just talk". Nothing serious though. I just cannot make a summer commitment to you at this time.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I woke up just a bit ago and I feel much better. Still sore and uncomfortable, but the pain medicine is doing it's job. I am just planning to lay around the house and try to have a nice day off. I have lots of Lost to watch, so that should keep me entertained. The only good thing about the way this cycle works is that when you finally start, it is still day one of your next try. Day one of an entirely new cycle. Another chance. I just gotta move on.
I also just wanted to say thanks to all of you for always listening. I have always had a hard time complaining about myself. Complaining about thinks that annoys me...no problem...but when it is something about me, I feel like I shouldn't make a big deal out of it. This blog has really given me an outlet and I know that I talk about all of this stuff a lot on here, and it might all seem really repetitive, because it really is. When I reread my mother's day post I thought it was awfully winy and I didn't even mention that I had a WONDERFUL day with my WONDERFUL mother, but I still need to get it all out. I need to talk, and lots of you are there on the phone or in person, and I am so thankful for you all too, but somehow writing it all down really helps me. And I just wanted to say thanks for always listening...
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Along with the spotting I have some hellish back aches and pretty severe cramping and nausea, so I am really about 99% sure this is my actual period. Of course I will still have to take a test of Tuesday because of the Clomid and everything. There will be a glimmer of hope in my heart until then, but that doesn't make this any easier. I really just thought this was it.
Well, I thought I would lighten up the post a bit with at least a couple of pictures for Mother's Day....actually these were what I was going to post before the spotting...but they make me feel a little better, so I will share them with you guys!
Here is a pic of our Irises in our front yard. (and unlike my aunt Mrs. Who, they really ARE your own Irises...and not the neighbors!) I actually am going to take some pic's soon of all of our flowers because they look amazing. I know this pic is a little dark, but I thought it was nice...
And then, of course, a pic of our baby. She is relaxin' maxin' all laid back on a pillow on the couch (with her devil eyes). She did remember to wish her mama a happy Mother's Day before I left for work, so she is a good girl!
Friday, May 9, 2008
I wasn't going to mention the anniversary on here, but then I was checking out Fluent Brittish and she actually had a meme up today about husband. You know I am a sucker for meme's, so how could I resist??
What is his name? Nicholas Shayne, but really just Nick
How long have you been married? A year and a half
Who said "I love you" first? I did, but he did indeed say it back
Who’s taller? Nick. He is 6'2" and I am 5'9"
Who sings better? Oh good lord, he is much better. Not that he is great, but I am so terrible, really I don't think anybody is as bad of a singer as me
Who is smarter? Nick, although I am a bright cookie as well. He got his degree in Physics with a minor in math...so that is hard to beat.
Who has the worst temper? Oh I do. Nick has no temper at all.
Who does the dishes? Both of us again...and Missy does a lot of dishes at our house as well
Who cooks dinner? Almost always me, but he can make so serious pancakes and waffles
Who drives? Nick, and I am a nervous rider, which he HATES. I grab on the the little handle all the time. He is honestly a good driver....I just can't help it.
Who is more stubborn? Nick. He is a silent stubborn, but he likes things how he likes them.
Who is the first to admit they were wrong? Me. Nick rarely thinks he is wrong...and honestly his isn't that often.
Who has more friends? I guess I have more...but we have been together so long we really share friends at this point
Who has more siblings? Well, I have two, and he as two so that would be a tie...BUT he does have four step sisters and two step brothers, so I guess he has me beat again...
Who wears the pants in the family? Nick I guess...but if I really want something to happen, it always does. We might each have a leg in the pants...
Thursday, May 8, 2008
The last three nights I have had some seriously messed up dreams. (before I go any farther, I do know that odd dreams and extreme tiredness are signs of pregnancy, but I am not really thinking they start at week three...) Three nights ago Nick woke me up and I was clearly in a panic. He said I was screaming "THEY'RE COMING IN THE ROOM!! THEY'RE COMING IN THE ROOM!!" It took him a minute to calm me down, because I was completely confused. I don't really have any memories of the actual dream, but I do of the terror that followed. This was not one of my weird waking dreams (thank God) but it was still very frightening.
Two nights ago Nick again woke me up. This time he said I was saying "Yes....Okay....Right....Right....Okay...Yes..." In a hurried, worried voice. This one I remember a little more. I was having a weird dream that we were being invaded and I was fighting. I guess I was taking some sort of orders. When I woke up I was filled with this wild anxiety. Very odd.
Then, last night I had this dream...okay this one wasn't so much a nightmare. It was just kinda odd. I was dreaming that I was at some house, and this lady was playing the pink and purple bagpipes. Apparently I looked like shit because my little sister kept saying "You need to go take a shower NOW!!". I said I was way to tired, and I kept drifting in and out of asleep during the bagpipe show. When I fell asleep, I slipped into a totally different dream. Then Missy would wake me up in dream number one....it was all sorts of Cheshire Cat's and rabbit holes. Who says they are tired in their dream and goes to sleep only to start another dream??
Okay, that is it. Sorry to just post a random story of dreams, but honestly I rarely remember my dreams, so these last three nights have been really weird. Just wanted to share. Thanks for letting me get it out there...
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
And finally, the mama-to-be and her mama!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
There is a world of difference between last months cycle and the cycle I am currently in. The intense anxiety is gone, which I gotta tell you, I am thrilled about. There is no more of the laying in bed just thinking for hours and hours. The constant knot is not in my stomach. I am okay. Now, that is not to say that it is not an obsession. The constant thought in the back of my mind is "please, please, please..." but I guess I have mentally prepared myself for another no. The two week wait is killer to anyone struggling to get pregnant, but I am back to acceptance. I know our odds. I know we are a long shot. This time I am at peace with it....but still incredibly hopeful.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
For now the small in town parties are always wonderful and this time was no exception. Candice and Davis had a TON of food including the always delicious Derby Pie. We started the party around two and tossed in small bets on the races leading up to the actual Derby. For the real deal everyone threw in five dollars and drew a horse from the cup. I ended up with Coronal John, which I thought was going to put me in the money for sure....it did not. I also had a ticket for Big Brown that I got at our local track, so I did manage to make a little money on the day. Not a lot mind you...the favorite winning with a $2 bet across the board is never the golden ticket to retirement or anything...
Anyway, sad sad sad. I do have pictures of the enjoyable party and what not. I am sure you are all in a picture viewing mood after that, but still...they are cute. Here are a few from race day!
Me and Nick on our way out the door to the party.
Host and Hostess...with the Hosts eyes half closed, but I still thought it was kinda cute...
The boys watching an early race...
Ryan with his and Arielle's new puppy Ripkin. Arielle was at the actual Derby with her dad...which we were all extremely jealous about!
And while we are looking at sweet puppies...her is ours. Looking a little bigger...which I believe is due to the cat food I caught her eating last night. Gotta find a new place to put it!
Friday, May 2, 2008
So how did I win you ask? Well, My favorite new blogger over at Chic Shopper Chick is giving it to me! She had the contest back a few weeks ago and I thought, "well, that's a nice bag! I want a baby, so I will need a bag. Might as well enter!" So I did. Along with 220 other people. AND I WON! I then had winners remorse because I had decided on this one pattern, but I wasn't sure I loved it....so I switched it up to the Botanical Azul, and I am just thrilled. Now I just need to be pregnant so I can carry my perfect new bag!
Now, you should all run right over to Chic Shopper Chick's site. She is doing a new baby give away today and everything is really cute in it. Plus she always has great stuff on her blog. She can always help you spend your money!
**Post edited so that the links now actually work!***
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Well, I got an email from my mother in law today about our trip. It is going to be awesome. I am seriously so excited about it....but I am really thinking Nick is going to be jealous of this little vacation now. First off, we are not going to the beach, we are going to the mountains. We are meeting in the middle of Kentucky and South Carolina...Tennessee. This mean less driving, which is always a plus. We are staying in a cabin, which is always nice, and we have tons of exciting stuff planned like hiking to Rainbow Falls and white water rafting. Of course there will be tons of eating and shopping and what not. We are not staying in Pigeon Forge, but the drive is not terrible, so we figured we would go there one day and do some outlet shopping. That might be my favorite part of the plan...
So here are my only concerns with this trip. First off, say I am pregnant, which, you know...would be awesome. White water rafting doesn't really sound like a great idea. I mean, I have ALWAYS wanted to try it, but I just don't see it as a "things to do while pregnant" activity. I guess I can go watch the other girls...or just stay at the cabin...or take an extra day of shopping...yes, i think shopping will win. Next problem. The hiking. Okay, I like nature. I really do. The thing is, nature does not always like me. I am clumsy and uncoordinated. I have asthma...and lets face it, I am kinda a baby. Sally (MIL) said it was listed as a half day hike that is moderately hard. And that we should start training now. START TRAINING NOW! Did you all know that my aunts went hiking one time and one of them had to be air lifted out. I am not kidding. My sister went to the grand canyon (which okay, it is the grand canyon, it is HUGE) but she nearly couldn't get out and broke down in tears because "Oh god the pain...I will NEVER make it!". We are more of a family of watchers...of relaxers really. I don't want to be a baby about it. I mean, I am sure I can make it...I am sure I can hike. It sounds so nice. It sounds like something I should do. I can feel it. I am going to love it. It might even become a new hobby of mine. I can do this!
The rest of the trip I am totally down with. The laying out by the lake, the swimming, the shopping, the eating. All sounds perfect. Except for that little voice in my head that says "Man, this sounds like a trip Nick would LOVE. Yes sir. His kinda thing." But I shouldn't feel bad, right? I mean, I didn't plan to do a perfect Nick trip without him. And I will be with his family. That's good. And I can buy him things. Lots and lots of great things. And also some things for myself...lets hope I am in need of maternity clothes come June!