Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I only got four hours of sleep last night. I cried when I went to bed. I cried when I woke up. I cried as I nursed him this morning. I cried on my way to work. I cried a little at work too.
Still, once I got to work and got rolling I was able to get things done. I thought of him constantly, but I was okay. I knew he was safe and loved. I knew I had work to do. I knew it was only five hours. I knew in my heart he was okay.
I got home at one and he didn't look any bigger than when I left him. He didn't look like he forgot me. He didn't look mad. He nursed and I kissed him a million times and we were both okay.
It will be easier tomorrow.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Stay tuned for a post full of drama and intrigue. Tentative Post Title- "Diagnosis: A Cold"...It may be a two part series that also includes, "Diagnosis: A Cold Confirmed at the ER at 2am". Should be up tomorrow. We have had a long couple of days around here! For now, I just wanted to say thanks for being so great!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Still, it is under control. I am okay to go to work next Tuesday for five hours. I know he will be fine. But I realized yesterday that before I go back I need to go meet everyone at the daycare he will eventually be attending two days a week. I have had great recommendations for them. He has been on the waiting list forever. I KNOW it is a good place with good people. Still, I was going to take him over there and look around. The place was nice. It really was. I was holding up okay on the tour. Everything made since. Everyone was really sweet. Then I started to ask a few questions. "tell me about what his day will be like" and she started. It sounded good. It sounded like a perfect daycare day. But then...out of nowhere. I burst into tears. Yes I did. I BURST INTO TEARS. I know they will take care of him, but I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF HIM. He is just so tiny. I see that it will be good for him in a year or two, but for now I want to be the one that is there. I want to be the one that rocks him to sleep and helps to teach him to roll over. I want to make sure that even though he is such a good baby and so easy, that he is always held and loved and played with. I want to make sure that he never left out or ignored. I want it more than I want almost anything else in the world.
I guess the one thing I want more is to provide for him. To give him the best life we can. And because of that, I have to work. I have to take him to daycare two days a week and he will be okay there. I know they will love him and take wonderful care of him. But not like I would. Because I am his Mama. And I take care of him best. That is what breaks my heart. I want what is best for him, and I truly believe that is me. It is just hard to not give that to him, when it is what I want more than anything.
And now I am crying again.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Don't worry though. It isn't like that was my entire lunch. Before that I had two gigantic slices of New York style pizza. THEN I added on the 1/3 tub of peanut butter. I was only going to have a little spoon full. You know, for something sweet. Then I had to FORCE myself to put it down when 1/3 of it was gone. I just kept doing that "even up the top" thing. You know...to make it smooth. "Just a little more off the top and it will look like NOBODY ate any of it!!". You all do that too, right?? RIGHT??
I am a little embarrassed for Nick to come home. Then I will have to be all like, "well, the jar isn't really as big as it LOOKS!" and maybe toss in a "It was HONESTLY only a couple of (HUGE) spoons full!" and maybe I will add in " I AM BREAST FEEDING!" just to remind him that I am eating for two. Yeah, that should take care of it. I am sure he will find the situation better then. And he definitely won't roll his eyes when I am all like, "WHEN am I going to be able to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes?? I have NO IDEA why these last 13 pounds won't come off!" Right.
**For the record, I am feeling MUCH better! The hives are officially gone and so is the crazy itching. Steroids are magical drugs. I did have a little incident where I forgot to read the directions and took all six pills for the first day at one time...instead of spread out over the day. And then I PANICKED and called the doctor because...you know...HENRY and BREAST FEEDING and OVER DOSING ON STEROIDS. Come to find out it is totally fine to take all six at once. Good to know. **
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
So, I am going to bed as long as this little boy will let me. Just wanted to give you the update. Just for fun, here is the link to Henry's newborn picture at the hospital! I have meant to post it forever, but now seemed like a good time seeing as how this post is lame and all just, "I AM ITCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Now we can tack on, " LOOK how much my baby has grown!!" Enjoy.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
I know some people find the old Boppy pointless, but I LOVE MINE. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Makes the entire feeding process a lot easier. Genius. Also, the person who made this is like a gazillionaire and all other mothers before her are like, "DAMN, I TOTALLY thought of that first!!"No snaps, no buttons, no zippers, just pull it up to change the diaper, then pull it back down. Amazing. I was calling them Henry's gowns, but my dad informed me that boys don't wear gowns, they are totally long t-shirts. Good to know. Unfortunately I heard Nick refer to them as a dress the other night...I have a confession...I find the whole "carry the car seat everywhere you go" thing pretty annoying. And Henry weights all of five pounds. It isn't that it is heavy, it is just cumbersome! If we are going someplace I want him to stay in his seat, then I am all for it, but if we are going someplace like his doctor, where we walk a long way, just for him to get out as soon as we get there, I would MUCH RATHER just pull him out in the car and drop him in the sling. Seems much easier to me. So that is what we do. All the time. Me and the hotsling are totally best friends.Henry has a love hate relationship with his passie (spelling passie with a "c" just looks wrong, so even though it is pacifier, we are going with passie), but I still add it to the list of must haves. When he is stressed, it makes him happy. That is the only reason I need. We had him at the doctor and she was checking him out. He was naked except for his passie and it fell out of his mouth and landed right on the table beside him. His eyes got really wide and when she rolled him to that side he turned his head all the way so his mouth could have reach the tip of the passie. He then started sucking on it like a mad man. It was like he was saying, "As long as I have this passie I will be OK!!!" It cracked me and Nick up. Sometimes he takes it at night and it helps him sleep, but sometimes he hates it. Such is life.Dear Lord,
Thank you for inventing the swing. It actually allows this mama to get things done around the house during the day (like laundry and long random posts on Bio Girl). You are a miracle worker. I am sure you did other things bigger than the baby swing, but for now it is at the top of my list. Thanks!!
Henry LOVES his play mat. He just lays there and looks at all the stuff. I feels like he is actually doing something when he is under it because he looks so serious as he studies. Makes me feel like I am teaching him something. Like how to lay on the floor. It's awesome.
Anyway, that is my list. There are a few honorable mentions like bibs to control the spit up and Pampers newborn diapers, which are the only ones that currently fit him, but they don't get pictures and details because I am bored and Henry is hungry, so we are out of here.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
okay, he is the sweetest thing ever when he is sleeping. Look at how he puts his hands under his head. ADORABLE.Then when he is first waking up, he likes to yawn and stretch...which is also the cutest thing I have ever seen. (This picture warms my heart)
Then we get all cleaned up. He doesn't like it much, but he tries not to cry. Still, he doesn't like having his picture taken all naked. I mean, who does?? (note that his belly button fell off...*sob*...but also YAY because it was sorta gross)
Next he gets all dressed and ready, but then decided he is NOT going to look at the camera. WILL NOT DO IT. That's okay. He is still pretty perfect.Finally Mama gives up on pictures (thank GOD) and we hit the road to visit Charing. He is still pretty tiny in his car seat, but clearly getting bigger!
Anyway, there is the three week review. A few pictures that can't possibly capture how great he really is. Still, I will keep trying!
Monday, June 1, 2009
THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON trailer in HD
Also, for the record, I can't believe I used to think the MTV movie awards were by far the BEST awards show on TV. I remember telling people they were way better than like, the Oscars, because they give awards to all the GOOD movies Right. They are just...awful. Parts of it were funny, but most of the show was really annoying. And I mean, I am a big Twilight fan, but seriously people, you think they should have won EVERY award? I guess I have officially grown out of MTV. Also, the preview for the new Real World made me feel really old. How sad.