Thursday, October 21, 2010

Four Years, ICLW and Back on the TTC Band Wagon

Four years ago today I married my very best friend. We have been through a lot in these four years, but it was always better because we were together. Over the last few years I have posted the video I made of some picture of our wedding day on our anniversary, but I am thinking you all may be a little tired of that. What? You aren't tired of it at all? You LOVE watching a video of random snapshots set to music? Well, IF YOU INSIST!

Sarah and Nick's Wedding from Sarah on Vimeo.


Next year I promise to make a new video of our actual time as a married couple. That will be fun. My only regret about this video is that I didn't have the professional pictures yet when I made it. They are so much better than these. Oh well. Happy Anniversary to us! Henry is off to Nanny and Papaw's for the night and we are going on an honest to god DATE NIGHT! It is going to be so awesome.

Also, today is the start of ICLW. Last month was my first time jumping on the ICLW band waggon, and you all...I LOVED IT! Who wouldn't? People come and leave you a million comments, and you get to read a ton of fabulous blogs you never would have found otherwise. So if you are here from ICLW, Welcome! You can see our TTC history here.

The only thing to add to that time line is that we have recently decided to start trying for a baby on our own for three months before we go back to the RE at the beginning of the year. This is actually the first I have mentioned of it on here...because somehow trying at home feels more personal... And I just felt like if I told you all, I would get my hopes up too high, so I kept it quite. I wrote a post to tell you, but it is still in my draft box. Waiting for the right moment, which never seemed to come. I thought it was the best decision to just stay silent. But then as we rolled into our two week wait, my hopes got SO HIGH anyway, and I had full fledged convinced myself I was pregnant and was planning how to tell you all. It was going to be all like, "SURPRISE!!!" but then I took a test yesterday and there it was, a blaring negative. And it all came crashing back down on me. The heart break, the insecurity, the embarrassment that I had actually let myself believe it was possible for this very infertile couple to just turn up pregnant.

So...I decided to go ahead and let you all in. We are trying again. Just for a couple more months, but we just had to know if it could be that easy. No money, no hormones, just pregnant. I have struggled with the idea of our embryos. Struggled a lot, but I have prayed about it and really think that whatever is suppose to happen will happen. So here we are. Back in the land of two week waits and searching for signs. Maybe this will be our month, but I am not betting on it. It's just worth a shot.

17 comments:

  1. I'm sorry that you ended up with a negative test, but maybe use this time to reconnect with your husband and to do the dreaded "just relax"? I look forward to reading more of your blog!
    ICLW 107

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  2. I'm noticing a pattern with us gals ttc#2. Seems like that first cycle, we all let our hope get away from us, dreaming that we'll be that couple that gets pregnant on the first try.

    And even though the disappointment is crushing, I found ttc#2 much less stressful than ttc#1.

    Good luck!

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  3. :::HUGS::: Hang in there girl! You never know!! It could happen naturally now that your body knows how to be pregnant! Know I'm praying and here if you need to talk.

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  4. Happy Anniversary!!!

    Hugs to you. I hope you find this time around less stressful!

    ICLW
    http://daega99-arewethereyet.blogspot.com/

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  5. TTC...that rollercoaster sucks, but remember the first time it did end in your sweet Henry. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers.

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  6. Happy Anniversary! Here's to hoping your road ahead is filled with another set of baby feet.

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  7. Sorry about the negative test. We're already trying for baby#2 too! I so wish that we could get pregnant the old fashion way:( So your definitely not alone in this!

    Like I said above..
    Right now me and my husband are ttc #2. We have already been to our RE to make plans for baby#2. We are planning a January FET, unless by some wonderful miracle I end up pregnant before then.

    Hoping the wait for baby #2 is short for the both of us!

    Hugs,
    Hannah

    *ICLW*

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  8. Happy anniversary! So sorry about the bfn. I hope trying for number two is easier than the first one.

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  9. Btw - I was reading your 100 things about me and I played the clarinet and the bass clarinet in high school as well. I also played the contra alto for a bit, which is even bigger than the bass clarinet. I am 5'2 and just had a thing about playing instruments almost as big as me :)

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  10. Happy Anniversary! Reading your story gives me hope, as my husband and I are 2 weeks into our first (and likely only) IVF cycle. Best wishes for a positive outcome for you!

    Happy ICLW ~#149

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  11. Wow! I so remember being in that place where you are right now. I've been there. After the success of my 3rd IVF when my daughter was just 9 months old, we started trying again, knowing it may take a while. And oh did it take a while. We were perhaps niave that it could happen naturally...but like you I had high hopes of a pregnancy without injected hormones and petri dish embryos. I did have to do IVF again...3 more times (2 of those frozen) before I conceived my twins. They just turned 13 months and my daughter is now 3 1/2! Anyway, just wanted to say hi and know that this post speaks to me because I've been there. Oh and Happy Anniversary & Happy ICLW! (#72 & 106)

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  12. Wishing you a very HAPPY anniversary hon!

    *hugs*

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  13. Happy Anniversary, once again.

    I am keeping everything I can crossed for you in this next stage of TTC and I truly couldn't wish any harder that things happen quickly, smoothly and happily for you (even though I know the chances of it being that easy are slim). xx

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  14. Of course, it's worth a shot! I heard that pregnancy helps put endo to sleep. Maybe yours is still dormant enough from pregnancy not to get in the way.
    I enjoyed the video! Made me fall in love with love all over again.

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  15. Happy anniversary!

    Sorry about the BFN but hopefully you won't even need to go to the RE.

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  16. Happy anniversary and good luck!


    ICLW

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  17. I LOVE wedding video montages! I don't think enough bloggers do them. I for one do.

    You were a gorgeous bride. Thanks for sharing pictures of your special day. It made me smile.

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