Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Perk of Temping

So I have been temping this month. I mentioned it a couple weeks ago, in case you forgot. Which is very possible. No matter how I act, I don't TRULY expect you all to remember everything I post on here. That's what links are for.

Anyway, I have been temping. And really, I was kinda excited about it. Mainly because of that science nerdy gene that lives within me. I realized pretty early on that I had been missing out on a very enjoyable graphing experience by skipping this process in the beginning! But as the month wore on, my graph started to look like the Andies and I realized that there is a surprising perk to temping. I tried to explain it to Nick, but he seemed sorta shocked by my conclusion.

Me: "You know what the best thing about this temping business is?"

Nick" "What's that?" (He is assuming I would say that it will OBVIOUSLY lead to pregnancy)

Me: "That it makes it really clear that there is no way I am pregnant"

Nick: "??"

Don't get me wrong. I love me some hope. I would come close to killing to be pregnant again. (I might take out a sickly stranger). But the last thing my little heart needs right now is any kind of false hope. As time ticks away, and my period gets closer or even moves to the 'late' category, to constantly be thinking "Maybe....possibly...it COULD happen!". To be obsessing. To be allowing the false hope to settle in my heart and become too real. That is where I would be right now if it wasn't for my temperature chart. Which, if you are interested, looks like this:
Temping Chart

Fertility Friend, which is the app I am using to keep all my temps in order, does not see this chart as promising. When I click on 'Pregnancy Monitor' it informs me that it can't even be calculated because no ovulation was detected. When I click on 'Fertility Analysis' it gives me a red light and says "Probably Not Fertile". I realized later that is for the individual day, not for like my entire life. But still...it basically says it all. Probably not Fertile.

So... you know. It's sad. But at the same time, not surprising. So in a strange way it's a relief. A relief to know that glass of wine is okay, that I don't need to worry about the caffeine. That I am right, my body isn't doing this. So don't keep holding out like it is. It does nothing but make it hurt more when the hope ends up to be nothing but false.

4 comments:

  1. Hello from ICLW. All of the information you get from temping is nice. Hope next months chart looks better for you.

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  2. The truth sets you free...hugs. Maybe next month your graph will give you hope instead

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  3. That's some chart! But I understand what you mean, at least you are not constantly in the "what if". I am the same (no tubes) so at least that's out of question!

    I also wanted to say that I saw your link to the other blog, that about Missy and I read it all. It's a long time you have not updated it and I really hope her treatments continue to work very well. I'll keep her in my thoughts and prayers.

    Love, Fran

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  4. Enjoy your temping.
    I got too frustrated with it. Wishing you all the best in your journey.

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