A New Morning Routine

So, I have big news.  News that, now that I come to think about it, is just insane that I haven't mentioned yet. Are you ready for it....

NICK GOT A JOB.

What?  Are you not jumping up and down in your seats and heaving a deep sigh of relief?  Just me?  Well... right.  That seems logical.  You all eating isn't dependent on Nick working, but ME eating is.  And... well... I like food.  And a roof.  So YAY FOR THE BIO GIRL FAMILY AND THEIR ABILITY TO EAT AND NOT SLEEP IN THE RAIN!

Where is Nick going to be working, you are asking me? Well turns out he is staying right here at the University! In the 11th hour they came through and decided to create a new position for him rather than lose him.  I cannot tell you how rare this is around here.  Like, nobody has ever really heard of it happening.  It says a lot about Nick and his work ethic, that they were not willing to lose him.  We feel extremely blessed and incredibly thankful.

And maybe a little bit stressed.  The new job has lots of new responsibilities, which he is focusing on.  The new job starts much earlier in the morning which I am focusing on.  Because it has the ability to effect ME, and reasons such as that have a tendency to draw my attention. Actually most mornings the new start time will only really effect the babysitters.  Right now they arrive at the house between 8:30 and 9.  Down right leisurely, except when you think of the fact that two of them have an hour drive to get to our house.  The new arrival time will be 7:30.  So.... ouch for them.  (sorry grandma's!  But at least we can still eat and wont be moving in to your basements!)  But there will be a few days a week where Henry will have to be driven to Boo's house to be with my mom and the girls.  And for all of Henry's life, if he had to be driven somewhere in the morning, Nick has done it.  Always.  This is about to change.

Since Nick and I will now have to leave the house at the same time on a normal day, it was really a coin toss on who would drive him.  Since I haven't had the privilege for the last two and a half years, I bravely said I would take the new responsibility.  Noble, right?  The main problem is that Henry never wakes up early.  Never.  Like his normal rise and shine time is after 9am.  (I know).  And on these mornings he is going to have to be in the car by 6:50.  SIX FIFTY.  That is down right the middle of the night to our sweet boy!  So yesterday I decided I was going to do a trial run.  I get the car warmed up, I have all our bags in and the doors open so the transition can be as smooth as possible. I have been dreading this.  Knowing it will be awful. That he will cry the entire time.  That it will take forever, that it will really put a wrench in my entire day.

I scoop him up, praying he will stay asleep.  Still in his PJ's, still in his diaper. We are going with the 'grab and go child relocation method' here.   He puts his head on my shoulder, but as soon we are outside he knows something is amiss.

"Mama?? What doing??"

'We are going to be with Nanny, baby.  You can go back to sleep"

A few seconds pass as we pull out onto our street.

"Mama, FORGOT CLOTHES!" (since he was in his PJ's, and never in his life has he left the house in his PJ's)

"No baby, Mama packed them.  Nanny will get you dressed later.  You can go back to sleep."

A few seconds pass.  I look back and he has his blanket pulled up to his chin. His legs streched and his arms behind his head.  He says, "Too Loud.  Music mama, need music."

We get to Nanny and he lays his head on my shoulder.  "Mama go to work.  Henry stay with Nanny.  Love you Mama."

Turns out this thing I have been dreading was absolutely the highlight of my day.  A few stolen minutes with my sweet boy.  I will look forward to our mornings from now on.  Those lucky days I get to spend time with my boy before work. What a perfect start to a day.

The Rules of Inheritance: A BlogHer Book Club Review

This post is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club.  Just like always, my opinions are my own. My opinions are not for sale! (picture me on a high horse)


I absolutely adored Rules of Inheritance by Claire Bidwell Smith.  ADORED IT.  It is a memoir of her life as an only child, living through both of her parents being diagnosed with cancer within of few weeks of each other in her early teens.  Her mother loses her battle during Claire’s freshman year of college and her father loses his when she is in her early 20’s.  The story is written on a non-linear timeline, so you never know what part of her life she will jump to next.  It goes back and forth between childhood, college, each parents illnesses and death, her life after their deaths, and how she became the woman she is today.  The jumping around sounds as if it would be hard to follow, but it actually allowed the flow of her story to make much more since.  Starting at the begging, jumping to the end, then setting the pieces of her life in a line where they are more understandable.  It much have been incredibly difficult to piece together in this way, but it created a beautiful story of her life. 

The story of how she becomes the woman she is today is captivating and beautifully written.  I found myself relating to her, even though we have very little in common.  I thought so often of Henry when she spoke of being an only child.   As she wrote of her father and his experiences in World War II, I thought constantly of my grandfather who passed away nearly six years ago.  I cried through that entire section of the book.  As she writes about finding herself in college after the death of her mother, I found myself comparing her journey to my own.  So different, and yet constantly relatable.

 She writes of her life and her loves, and she does so in a way that makes you feel like you understand her.  That you truly know her, or at least that leaves you wanting to know her better.  As soon as I was done reading I went to Claire Smith’s blog. I wanted to see her parents, see her life.  There was something about this memoir that made me want to keep reading.  And that is the mark of a wonderful book.  Since this is a memoir and Claire is a blogger, I will get to do just that.  I can pick up from now and follow along with her story. 

 I highly recommend Rules of Inheritance.  We will be discussing it over the next several weeks with the BlogHerBook Club.  Please come join in the conversation!

And just in case you are interested... (currently #14)

Shifting the Mood

So I am thinking we need some serious mood shifting around these parts.  Am I right?  I mean, my last two posts.... sort of downers.  So I am thinking this might make everyone feel just a little better...
Am I right? I mean, doesn't he just melt your heart? Or is that just his Mama's heart... either way, I think we can all agree that this makes us feel better than my crying on the phone to a poor receptionist. And what about this one??

I cannot tell you how pleased I am that he seems to finally be willing to smile for the camera when I say "CHEESE!". I mean... he does at least 5% of the time. With the number of pictures I take 5% isn't too shabby.

Or how about we lift the mood by showing you a sweet picture of me and Nick from ten years ago?  Yes, this is a picture of a (blurry) picture, and yet I love it!  We are so  young... so innocent... so SKINNY!  I actually mentioned on Facebook and Twitter last night that I remember thinking I looked fat in that tank top.  Isn't that just disgusting?  (If you are curious how that is possible, I was insanely skinny in high school and this was after I had put on about 25 VERY NEEDED pounds.  I had usually worn clothes that were too big for me to hide my tiny size and so this fitted tank felt like it was showing off my "belly".  I know.  Idiot.)

Anyway, this skinny nature of myself in this picture reminds me that I can tell you about how well I am doing on my diet with My Fitness Pal!  It has been three weeks and I have lost 7.1 pounds!  That means I am at an even 10 pounds since January 1st.  You all, I am so thrilled with this.  My clothes are loose, I am even thinking of trying on my pre-pregnancy jeans soon.  Yes, they are four years old.  I am hoping styles haven't changed that much... Anyway, I have another 5-10 pounds to go, but I am currently smaller than I was when I walked in to my first OB appointment.  That is just thrilling.

So, mood lifted, right?  Thank you for your sweet comments yesterday.  They made me feel much better.  It has just been a rough few days.

Here is that trusty link to vote again.  We are currently in 12th. A this rate, I dont know if we have a chance at staying in the top 25, but that's REALLY okay.  This is WAY more intense voting than last year, and just yesterday I admitted to not thinking I should be on the list.  It's an honor to be recognized and all that jazz. But if you want to vote, it does give me joy to see my vote count climb.

Not Exactly Inspirational...

I am not sure how I feel about this "Most Inspirational Family" thing.  Not because I don't think it's an amazing list, but really, because I am not sure I should be on it.  Is that sort of awful to admit when I am asking you all to vote? I look at the other blogs on the list this year, and man are they inspirational.  Fathers suddenly dying leaving the mother pregnant  to raise their family on their own, mother and daughter both fighting cancer, raising a preemie who was born at 28 weeks.  Inspirational.  And as for us.... well?  We feel awfully normal in comparison. 

Yesterday I called my doctor to make an appointment to talk surgery.  The receptionist told me he was out of town this week and completely booked next week.  He could see me March 5th.  And I burst into tears.  You all.  I BURST INTO TEARS. Not with the doctor or the nurse, but with the poor receptionist.  Not like shaky voice on the phone, like open sobs as the receptionist said "Oh no.... please don't cry....".

It was exceptionally awkward.  She had a nurse call me back, mainly because she had no idea what to say.  And I cried on the phone with the nurse and told her "I am fine.  REALLY.  FINE.  I am just an emotional crier."  There wasn't much to say.  They would see me in two weeks.  They are sorry.

I called Nick to tell him and I broke down on the phone.  "They...can't....see me... until March...5th..."  He says "Well that seems rediculo....wait. That isn't really that far away, right?"

Me. "Right..."

Him "So..."


Me "I don't know WHY I AM CRYING LIKE THIS!"

A few hours later I had it under control, but not before crying several times in the lab and having to have awkward conversations of "I am really okay... just emotional this morning...".  By lunch I felt like myself, but at 4:30 I was having terrible hot flashes, which... What the fuck is this about??  I ignore them and go to class.  One more thing to mention at my appointment that feels a world away.

I am better today.  I feel like myself.  And that is a much better place to be.  But still, do I feel even an ounce of inspirational?  No, not really.  But here is the link, since I have spent the entire post talking about it.  Vote if you want. We are currently in 10th.  And check out some of the other blogs if you have time. They have hold some amazing stories.
 

The Endo Issue

The last week has been a real struggle with my endometriosis. Like to the point that it was the worst few days I have had since before Henry was born.  There was a time on Saturday that I seriously considered asking Nick to take me to the emergency room, but why?  I know what I have.  I know there is really nothing to be done.  It wasn't a emergency, it was just excruciatingly painful.  I think possibly I had a cyst that burst on my right side, but there isn't any way to know for sure.  I do know the amount of bleeding was sorta alarming.  And that even on pain medication I had a hard time walking from one side of my house to the other.  All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep.  Which... I am sure you can imagine, isn't that easy with a two year old who wants to play with his Mama on the weekend.

I always struggle with the line of when to go to the doctor for my endo.  I know my options and I know where I stand.  If I am not wanting to be on birth control, then I see no real reason to go unless I am ready to talk surgery.  This weekend I realized I was ready to talk surgery.  And yet I always have this fear that I am jumping the surgery gun.  I can feel my cousin shaking her head at me right now, but I can't help but feel my feelings!  I worry that as soon as I tell my doctor how bad it is, that it will get better.  That maybe this weekend was all about a cyst and not about my endometriosis.  It is the difficult thing about having a disease you cannot see with out surgery.  It leaves a lot of questions, a lot of self evaluations.  And I am terrible at self evaluations.

What I do know is that I lost this weekend to pain.  I didn't get to spend it with my family, I had to spend it in bed on medication.  And still, I couldn't stop the tears, I couldn't keep it under control.  If these had been work days, there is no way I could have come in. And that is always my line.  If even on pain medication I can't function, it's time to talk to the doctor.  I will let you know what he says.

I am still collecting votes for Inspirational Family over with Circle of Mom's!  We are currently in 7th place.  If you have a second, please click over and vote!

Also, I have a new blog post up over at Bloggers for Hope about Endometriosis treatment options (Ha... kinda fitting for today, right?  It's all Endometriosis all the time around these parts)  Click over if you are interested!