Monday, February 28, 2011

Still Rolling

So the FET, it's still rolling right along. I know I haven't talked about it much this last week (because it's been all SPEEEEEECH around here), but that is really because there isn't much to report. I was so pumped to get started with the hormones to feel like I was actually DOING something, but the big day came and I just stuck on a patch and that was that. Not really that exciting when it comes down to it. Three days later I changed my patch, then two days later (today) I upped the ante and put on two patches. I am wild and crazy over here.

As for side effects, I feel tired, but that is mainly it. I have a lingering headache, but nothing terrible. Really, I feel pretty normal. The patches drive me mildly crazy because I am not one to leave things alone. The desire to pick at the edges is strong. REALLY strong. And I have convinced myself that they itch, but I am no sure it's true or if I am just trying to find a reason to mess with it. In a weird way I preferred the shots. Maybe because they felt like more of an event every single day so I felt like I was actually getting closer to my goal of a baby. But still, the patches are painless and easy. So that is lovely. And if they work I will never say another negative word about them.

So that's it on an FET update. Still drugged up and waiting for an ultrasound for the green light. That will happen next Tuesday, and that will definitely fall into the category of blog worthy, even if daily patch changes don't.

**For those of you interested, I updated over on Missy's blog on Friday if you want to read about her follow-up appointment and her treatment plan.**

Thursday, February 24, 2011


So, Henry qualifies for speech therapy. They gave me lots of stats and are mailing me more information on his test results ( a science nerds dream! STATS!!), but it boils down to the fact that he could use a little help with this whole talking deal. And we want to help him, but we need their guidance on how to do that. He is clearly eager to learn. If you ask him to make sounds, lots of them he does perfectly, but the words just aren't there yet. But they will be. We have (another) meeting this coming Wednesday to work out the final details, then he gets his hearing checked ( I am 100% sure it will be fine) and then the NEXT Wednesday we start therapy which will continue every week for six months (or longer if needed). Thank god I don't work Wednesdays.

I don't know, I am a little torn I guess. I am so excited to know that he gets the help he needs. But at the same time... I guess this morning my mama instinct has just been kicking in and I hate that the help is needed at all. That there is something that we haven't been able to show him. To explain in a way he gets. And don't get me wrong. I don't mean to make more out of this than it is. They were very clear when going over his results with me that he is a very smart little guy. He is social and interactive. I really don't think this is a start to bigger problems or major delays. But still, this small part of me has this lingering sadness that it's necessary. But most of me, the much bigger part, is just excited to get him the help he needs to get over this communication hurdle. I have a feeling in six months I will be telling you all we can't get him to keep his mouth shut. I can't wait for that day.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My Non-Verbal Genius

So lets say you are off work and you have a meeting around 1:15 at your house with a speech pathologist to evaluate your perfect child. And lets say that Wednesday is typically the day you do cleaning, so the house needs a little work. In this situation, the correct thing to do is get up and get the work done. Definitely don't watch an entire episode of Glee first. Just go on and get to cleaning and taking care of the child. If you do decide to watch Glee, once it's over turn off the TV. DO NOT turn on The Biggest Loser to have on in the background while you work. Because the next thing you know the house is half picked up and you will see it is 11:45 and you still need to run the vacuum and make the child lunch so he isn't starving at his evaluation. But you might be sucked in at this point. So you sit down for JUST A SECOND to watch the weigh in (spoiler alert), and see the parents have thrown the competition to save their children, and you will BURST into tears because the parent love is just too much to handle, and right at that moment, RIGHT THEN the speech pathologist will call and say she had a cancellation and wants to come on over. At 11:45. And you have to be all like, "What? Oh, of COURSE you can come on over! But I was about to feed him lunch, can you give me 30 minutes?" and she will say, "Oh, I wanted to see how he ate anyway, is it okay if I come on over. I am a mile away" and you will say, "Of course!" because you know if you say "No lady! You can't come yet! I am crying over Biggest Loser and still have to pick up toys and run the vacuum!" She will write down in her report that you are avoiding visitors and it must mean you are a meth house. So you run around LIKE A MAD WOMAN tossing everything in closets and search for the healthiest lunch you can feed your child, because the food you have will define if you are a good parent. But it has to be stuff he will eat, because there is no good reason to throw 12 vegetables on his plate if the evaluator is just going to watch him feed them to the dog. So...the pressure.

What a run on paragraph I just wrote there. I would delete it, but it sorta captures the panic of the morning rather well, so it stays. On to the Evaluation details! Once our lovely evaluator got to the house I calmed down and things went awesome. She came in with a box of toys and Henry was very interested in her (the toys) and did awesome interacting with her. I was really afraid going in to the evaluation that they wouldn't get to see the real Henry, but clearly these people know what they are doing because he took to her like a bee to honey. She first pulled out one of these: And mentally I was like "Yesssss" because Henry has one of those and he is awesome it it. Might as well start out with something strong, right? In about two seconds he put it back together and look at her like "Woman, please. Give me a challenge!"

So next she pulled out a puzzle, and I wasn't as confident. But Henry rocked it and had it together in less than a minute. She was like, "Wow, you must work with a lot of puzzles with him!" and I was like "mental note, but some puzzles"

Anyway, I wont make you listen to each step of the evaluation, but seriously he did great. She tested him on stuff way more advanced that his age because he kept rocking the tests. He can sort colors! Who knew? He just really managed to show her how cleaver he was, which was important to me because I know he doesn't talk, but you all, he is SO SMART. And I didn't wan that to be lost because he is shy and non-verbal. On top of showing his brains, he was so good and polite. Seriously, I was BEAMING with pride. Then he ate lunch and he did awesome with that too. Using his fork, eating two plates of food, not feeding ANYTHING to the dog. A win all around!

So here's what it comes down to. Henry passed the test with flying colors except in the communication category. He uses less than ten works (more like five) and he mainly uses vowel sounds. At this age they like to see 50-100 words and the beginning of sentences, which we are nowhere near. He isn't even close on things like "s" "sh" "f" and "v" which are apparently a category. But he understands. He understands EVERYTHING. And he has his own way of communicating, which he did lots with her. So we don't know what he qualifies for. She said usually she can tell right away, but for Henry she will have to run the numbers because basically he is boarder line. We find out in a day or two if he will need a speech therapist once a week or if they think this isn't an issue that will cause any real delays. But she did seem to think he was very smart, and that with their assistance or without, this will not be something that holds him back. He just isn't talking yet. And that's really okay. Which was great for this mama to hear.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

FET Road Map

As we roll into "Operation Baby#2" I realize that I talk a lot about infertility stuff around here, and that a fair few of you (like my lovely family and friends) have no idea what any of this actually means, or what you should expect over the next month. So I figured it was a good time for an FET road map. Like the one I did for IVF back in 2008. I am nothing if not considerate when I choose to talk about nothing but a topic you all know little about.

So a Road Map for the FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer... so this is to transfer the embryos we have left over from the IVF that gave us Henry):
  • Begin birth control about 6-8 weeks before desired transfer. This is to regulate your cycle timing. I started he birth control pills (BCP) in late January.
  • Stop Birth control about three weeks weeks before desired transfer. This should trigger your period, and then you are good to go. For us (because we love to be different) the BCP triggered three weeks of bleeding so they don't expect me to have a period. Still, I start hormones on Wednesday.
  • Wednesday February 23: start hormone patches. I will be changing/ increasing hormone patches from now until the transfer date. This will get my lining to the correct thickness for implantation.
  • March 7-9: I will go in for an ultrasound to check to make sure the old trusty uterus looks good for a baby. Mainly just the lining thickness is checked. Thumbs up here means we are good to go for transfer!
  • March 9: begin progesterone. This will continue (along with patches) until 12 weeks of pregnancy if I am pregnant.
  • March 13-14: Embryos will be thawed. Since we are using frozen embryos we have left over from our IVF, so we are not actually 100% sure we will have anything to transfer until this point. Some embryos do not survive, but since we have 6 on ice we feel confident at least one or two will make it. (I am hoping we actually get 2 FET transfers out of the ice-babies, but time will tell)
  • March 14-15: Transfer. We will go in to the fertility clinic and have two (as long as we have two) 5-day blast embryos transferred. (Yay!!)
  • March 15-23: Wait
  • March 23-24: Pregnancy test!
So that's it. A road map to the madness. I don't know if you can tell, but this is a much easier process than the IVF was back in 2008. Less medications, less procedures, less money, NO shots (crazy!). All around a better deal. The trade off is that the success rate is a little less, but only time will tell what that means for us.

Fingers crossed because here we go!

Monday, February 21, 2011


Didn't I say this month would fly by? And look, here it is already. Another International Comment Leaving Week (ICLW). So welcome new readers! Thanks for stopping by. You can see our TTC history here, but the long and short of it is that I have stage four endometriosis. After 3 failed medicated IUI's, our first IVF resulted in this little guy here...

Henry, 21 months

He is so awesome. We love each and every day with our sweet Henry. We are now officially rolling on an FET to bring a second baby into the family. I went off birth control on Saturday and will start the hormone patches on Wednesday. Transfer date is scheduled for March 14th or 15th, so come next ICLW I will have an answer to if baby #2 is on his or her way. And we know how fast ICLW rolls around!

Friday, February 18, 2011


We have had sweet Cici at our house a lot the last couple of weeks. You all, this girl, she is just a little piece of heaven. The sweetness... it's hard to contain. You can't spend time with her without completely falling in love. Case in point, Nick kept her and Henry together the other day. He was a little worried about it. An entire day with both babies. He loves Cici, but he had never actually been in CHARGE of her. The pressure was on. Two kids AT ONE TIME.

So after his day I asked him how it went. He said it went fine. He didn't refuse to ever attempt such a thing again, so I figured it was a success. Then the other day I was loading some pictures onto my flickr account and I found some that Nick took on that day. Seems like they had a better time than I could have hoped!
Darcy in Hats
'ellow there and good day to you all.
Darcy in Hats
Now where are my snow shoes?
Darcy in Hats
My goodness, it's rather windy in here!
Darcy in Hats
Can someone help me find Platform 9 3/4 ?*

Look out. She will steal your heart.

*Why yes that is my H0gwarts scarf and hat. What? Is that odd for a grown adult to own?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Nap Time

Henry Napping
Henry: Oh man, I just LOVE nap time. Especially when I get to nap in Nanny and Papaw's bed.
Mama: YOU love nap time? Really? Also, why are you using covers? I have never seen you use covers? What is happening here?
Henry Napping
Henry: Yes MOTHER. I love covers. I am a BIG BOY, don't you know. This is how you do it, right?
Mama: Ha. Kind of...
Henry Napping
Henry: I know you aren't actually laughing at me while I am trying to nap...
Henry Napping
Henry: Okay....back to resting time.... MOM. Stop laughing! This is how I do it!
Henry Napping
Henry: You make it really hard to get some rest, Mama...
Mama: Really? You sorta look tickled too HENRY.
Henry Napping
Henry: Okay FINE. I was totally faking it. I HATE naps! Same as always. But I DO love covers!

Henry: I am done with this. Let's Gooooooo.
Mama: but...nap...time....
Henry: Well maybe you should have thought about that before you pulled out the camera.
Mama: Right... fine. Let's get up.

*If you are wondering how our speech evaluation went, I am not avoiding the subject, there is just nothing to report at this point. It was really just a meeting to sign paperwork. The real evaluation will take place in the next week or two.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The (FET) Ball is Rolling

Well I went to see Doc yesterday. The funny thing was, when he walked into the room I took a good look at him and realized I had totally forgotten what he looked like. I know, that's crazy. I saw this man A LOT in 2008. And I THOUGHT I remembered what he looked like, but somehow in my mind he has morphed into a mix of the REAL doc and this other random doctor that I worked for back in 2000. SO... it was sorta strange (for me) when he walked in and I was like, "What the...Oh. Right. THAT'S what you look like". All in my head of course, because we can't have Doc going and thinking I am crazy before we get these embryos transferred. After that he can think whatever he wants.

Anyway, FET update. My appointment yesterday was not a normal scheduled appointment for an FET. Technically I wasn't scheduled to see them until around March 8th. But I had started my birth control pills back at the end of January, and pretty soon after I started spotting, and I really haven't stopped. I had called about it two weeks ago and they said it would go away, but (of course...because this is MY body) it hasn't. It has actually gotten much worse and is now accompanied by really terrible cramping and pain. Good times.

So I called Doc to be all like, "??" and he said to come in for a quick scan just to make sure there weren't any major cysts in there that would prevent the transfer. Turns out there were not any cysts, which really shocked me (in a good way). But he did say my left ovary was distorted and had "something on top of it" which he was pretty positive was endometriosis. So...looks like it is back for sure. But I knew that already. The important thing is that this should not be a problem for the transfer! I go off birth control on Saturday and start my hormone patches on Wednesday. Ultrasound to check my lining on March 7th or 8th, and then hopefully transfer on March 14th or 15th. I am just really hoping things work. That each step goes according to plan and at the end of this we end up with a positive pregnancy test, and then a sweet baby. At least for now, the FET ball is rolling.

*I don't know if you all are wondering about us going on with our plans for the FET with Missy being sick. Maybe it hasn't crossed your mind, but it has mine, so I thought I would mention it. Missy and I talked about it this weekend, and she really wants everything to continue as planned. She doesn't want life to stop, and I agree. I know she is very sick, but I don't want her to feel like her cancer is preventing good things from happening. This cancer is taking so much out of all of us already. We will not let it take this possible joy away. Nine months is a long time, and hopefully she will be feeling much much better by the time the (fingers crossed) baby will be here. So we are continuing with the plan. Because cancer doesn't get to win.

Monday, February 14, 2011

My Valentines

I don't know what I would do without boys. You all know that this hasn't been the easiest year, but these two have made it infinitely better. They fill my heart each and every day, and for that I am forever thankful.

I hope you all have a wonderful day with the ones you love.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Cousin Time

Cici* says, "What is this baby cage?"
Henry says, "Welcome to the land of Henry! Feel free to look around, what's mine is yours."
Henry says, "Mama, can we have a slumber party?? I PROMISE I won't keep her up all night!"
Cici says, "Can we? Can we? Can we? PLEEEEEASE!"

Henry says, "We're going on a bear hunt, we're going to catch a big one..."
Cici says, "Seriously. It's like A MILLION DEGREES in here and you are letting him talk about a bear hunt. LET'S GOOOOOO!"**

*Cici will be what I call my beautiful niece around here from now on.

**Sometimes even the closest of cousins disagree about when is the right time to recite children's literature.

These two have been spending lots of time together lately. And by lots I mean more than their normal three days a week. Now we are at 5 a lots of dinners and weekend time. They laugh at each other and hold hands. They are pure joy and they constantly warm my heart.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Type, Type, Typity, Type Type (Stressed)

I feel like I should blog something. Something funny and uplifting. I should tell you how great Missy is doing, because she IS doing great you all. So so great. Or I should tell you about how wonderful it is to be home. But these thoughts seem to come out better in the 140 characters required on Twitter than they do on the big open space of a "New Post" window.

Honestly, I am stressed. I am happy about the surgery, but worried about the lab results. I am stressed over the fact that I am spotting like crazy on the birth control. I think I have had a cyst burst in the last ten days. Maybe two. know... is really fun. My work is crazy busy and I am digging out of the hole from my time off. On top of that, we are having a consult this week for Henry and his non-talking, which I haven't really talked about or worried about, but the fact that they are coming in to evaluate it just makes it feel like something bigger. All these things are okay. Individually they are each not that big of a deal, non-issues really. But adding them all together on top of the worry over Missy and I am just on the verge of tears. All the time.

And then I worry about posting this. Because really, do you all want to hear more that I am stressed. That I am worried. That I am overwhelmed. Again. Still. We are so lucky Missy is doing so well, and that is what is important. I just wish everything else could sort of give me a break. Because I can't really handle anything more right now.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Home Again

Boo and I returned home this afternoon. It was so hard to leave our sweet Melissa, but we know we left her in the amazing hands of my parents and the doctors and nurses. We had a wonderful night with her last night, laughing and talking. She is truly doing amazing. We feel so blessed.

When we got to the airport I saw my sweet boys waiting for me. It nearly brought tears to my eyes. Oh how I missed them. I am so happy to be home.

Thursday, February 3, 2011


The three sisters.
It has been a long hard day. But a good day too. I can never truly say how important it has been for Boo and I to be here with my parents to support Missy. For today, our hearts are full.

You can read the details of pre-op day over on Missy's blog. Thank you all again for your continued prayers and support.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Mall Time (an Awesome Video of Henry)

I am not myself. I am this shell of myself just waiting for Friday. I worked Monday and Tuesday of this week and when it was over all I could think was thank god I don't have to keep faking it (which, for the record, I was not doing very well of anyway). I feel bad complaining about how this is hard on me, because I know it is a million times harder and more terrifying for Missy. But I just sit here and I think and I worry and I am just a shell.

I have a million things to do before we fly out in the morning, but somehow I found myself at the mall with Henry watching him play in the kiddie play land they have there. After about 20 minutes I looked down and realized I was in my pajamas. Yes I was. I mean, Not like silky, lacy pajamas, but in the old sweat pants and sweat shirt that I slept in. I cannot promise you that I had brushed my hair....or my teeth. But what I can promise you is that Henry had a blast. And I truly enjoyed watching him. So... I decided to take some video to bring with me to DC. Once I got home I realized there was rather a lot of video, so I sat it to music and added some captions for everyone's enjoyment. It was nice to focus on something. To work hard on it, even if it is silly and pointless. To have something to take my mind off Friday. Just for a little while. And honestly, I am telling you, this video very well may win me an Oscar for best short film next year. If it does, I will be thanking all of you in my acceptance speech.

Before I show you the video, I will show you this awesome picture. It is in the video, but not until the very end. Once I thought about it, I thought there may be a select few of you who feel the video is...what's the word...LONG. And will decide to not watch every second of it. (Your loss.) But I didn't want you to miss this picture because it's awesome.
Play Time
Now to the video. My Masterpiece. Enjoy.

Henry at the Mall- A Montage from Sarah on Vimeo.

Now I really need to get some laundry done and get packed. We leave at 6:30 in the morning. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. We can feel you all with us.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


So I will drive myself crazy if I think of nothing but surgery and cancer between now and Friday, so we are going to lighten things up around here. This past weekend we had family dinner with Nick's mom and step-dad. We were all sitting around and somehow one of us mentioned what nerds we are. This is a common claim from this bunch. I guess Nick's mom had had enough of this "nerd" talk and finally spoke up. She needed to defend her precious babies. " Why on earth do you all call yourself nerds? You are perfectly normal!"

She didn't seem to find it odd or "nerdy" that we had been watching a marathon of "How It's Made", or that we followed it up with a game of Trivia Genius. Or the fact that we were a Group of four holding Math, Physics, Biology and Computer Science Degrees. Or that between us we have three university employees and one High School Math teacher. We pointed all these facts out, but Nana didn't seem to be swayed. So I thought I would put forward some incriminating evidence to support our self proclaimed nerd status. Which... even by trying to prevent evidence in this case may be proof enough that I am a full blooded nerd.

So let's see. Exhibit A. We will start with the oldest child:

So here is Nick's brother Chris on the cover of Leo Weekly talking about the Hacker space they have created, of which Chris is the president. So... he is sorta the KING of the nerds. (he is the one in the middle.) Here is a link to the article. Because seriously, it is pretty cool. Nerdy, but cool.

Exhibit B:
Nick in DC
The middle child...who is summed up rather well in this picture.

Exhibit C
Christmas 2010
The baby. Well... you can decide on her nerdiness for yourself

Exhibit D
As for me, I may not have been born into this family of nerds, but I think I fit in rather well.

Of course, I am not sure Nicks mom will see it, even with the evidence I have provided. Because when it comes down to it, she raised this family of nerds. So they seem perfect in every way.

Especially Exhibit E:

This one has no chance. May as well go ahead and embrace it now.
Henry: "Mama, what are you even talking about. EVERYONE insists on wearing high top tennis shoes on the outside of footie pajamas while sitting in a baby's seat. COME ON.
Nana: "That's right baby. The is not a single nerdy thing about you. You are PERFECT!"
Mama: *eye roll*