Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Tortoise

Over the last two semesters I have rather quietly been working on my Masters Degree in Public Health. Slowly. Like one class per semester. So... if you do the math that's two classes complete over the two semesters. Twelve classes left to go. Not exactly the Hare's pace...but it was the Tortoise that won the race in the end, right? Anyway, since I work at the University I am offered free classes and I have decided to take advantage of them. That was my plan anyway, until I was pregnant again. I just couldn't see how I could work full time, have a toddler and be pregnant while taking classes on the side. I thought I would take some time off, and maybe pick up where I left off when the new baby was a little bigger. Maybe.

I didn't register for anything when the schedule was opened in the spring. I was still so sure I would be pregnant, and wanted to see if I was more sick with this pregnancy than I was with Henry before I committed. And then, of course, it turned out that I was not pregnant. And there was nothing holding me back from continuing my slow and steady progress of continued education.

When I was wrapping up my bachelors degree I felt like I stood at a cross roads. To continue on with school now, or to walk away and find a job. To get a little more financially secure and to start our family. At that point I already knew I had stage four endometriosis. They had been honest with us, that time was important, that if we wanted kids, we needed to act and to do it soon. So I walked away from thoughts of medical school or the idea of becoming a PA. Not just for the hope of children, also because I was exhausted from school and ready to start life. But the endo, the fear of losing my chance at what I felt was post important to me, it weighted huge on my final decision.

And now here I am. So thankful for the feeling of urgency then. So thankful to have not thought it was worth the risk to wait. Because it feels now like there was a world of difference in my infertility from the time of Henry to the time of the failed cycles this year. That had I gone on to graduate school then, waiting the 2-4 years that I needed to complete my studies, that I might have been too late. That I truly would have chosen my career over any potential pregnancy. And that is interesting to look back on now. That 2-4 years made a world of difference for my body. Those years made a world of difference on the entire course of my life.

But now that is done. The fight is over and I am left thinking of what I walked away from. The classes I took the last two semesters were enjoyable, but I wasn't really confident in ever completing a degree for them. But now, I am thinking differently. Last night I attended my first class for this semester. I sat and listened as my fellow students discussed their passions, what they planned to do with these degrees they were seeking. When it came to my turn I was honest. I said I had no idea, but that I was happy to be there.

The more I have thought about it I have realized that little by little, one course at a time, I can make the same decision. Do I want to stay in the environmental field? Do I want to work in research for reproductive health or maybe cancer? Would I be interested in genetics and the statistics behind them? As each person talked about what they planned to pursue, I thought "Well that sounds interesting!". And it hit me that I could choose that too. I could choose anything, even to complete my masters and stay right here, moving into a head position within my lab. I don't know what I want. Being the tortoise has it's advantages because I have lots of time to decide. But for now it's nice to be back in school. More fully back than I was these last two semesters. To be back and thinking now that I have everything I ever wanted with Nick and Henry, What do I want to do next. One course at a time, I am going to find out.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Who Needs Toys?

Henry in box
Henry: "OH. MY. GOSH. Mama...did you know that there is a box in the living room??"

Mama: "Yes baby, it's from the new dishwasher. Don't worry about it. We will get it out of the house soon"
Henry in box
Henry: "Out of the house? WHY? I mean, this thing is full of ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES!"
Henry in box
Henry: "Hmmm... I am thinking club house. maybe fort. "

Mama: "But baby... it's kinda in the way..."
Henry in box
Henry: "No no no mama. It isn't in the way! You can just get rid of my bed! Look, I fit perfectly"

Mama: "Henry... I think you may still need a bed..."

Henry in box
Henry: "Okay FINE. Keep my bed. But it could replace ALL my other toys. It is all I need Mama. ALL I NEED!"

Mama: "You can keep it for two days. Then it's out of here"
Henry in box
Henry: "Deal! Now get out of here Mama. This is a boys only club house"

Mama: "I can't be in your club Henry?"

Henry: "Oh okay Mama. But just you."

Mama: "Sounds like a plan, sweet boy."

Friday, August 26, 2011

Let's Lighten the Mood

Thank you all so much. Your comments yesterday were awesome. I truly enjoyed every single one. It's nice to know that you all are always here and so supportive. It makes the crap luck of having endometriosis a little easier to take.

I am feeling much better today. Not great, but much much better. And I don't really have much to blog about, but I wanted to lighten the mood around here. So, I thought I would share with you some hilarious (maybe just to me) pictures that my friend Whitney sent me in order to brighten my day. These pictures... they ALWAYS crack me up. Like out loud, at work, so that people come to see what is so funny. And that is just a touch awkward. But now I shall share them with you! And maybe one or two of you will laugh, drawing unwanted attention to your blog reading at work. And my work here will be done.
Oh skeptical hippo. How your questionable expression completely makes my day.
Awesome Cat
I am totally going to do this for Ellie. Just so everyone around town knows that I have the coolest dog ever born.
funny baby
I sorta want to be friends with these parents. Seems like our kind of people. (I too like to make fun of pictures of my child)
awesome pirate cat
And finally, every time I look at this one it makes me laugh. It just never seems to get old. Who doesn't want a pirate cat?

If you are still wanting to read about things I enjoy, I have a new book review up over on Blogher for The Rules of Civility. The book is a wonderful look into a woman's life in Manhattan in the late 1930's. Totally worth reading. Check out my review if you have time! Hope you all have a great weekend.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Damn Endo

The last two months I was lulled into a false sense of security. My endo has not been bad. I have actually not talked about it because I didn't want to jinx anything, but it has been extremely liveable. And it was awesome! I was having thoughts that maybe I was cured, maybe being off birth control was the unlikely magical answer!

And then this morning happened. And I remembered very quickly how much I hate endometriosis. I actually started a few days ago, about 10 days before I expected to, which is always fun. But it was so odd to be totally taken off guard by my period. My endo has made that impossible for years. So, although no thrilled to start so early, it was nice to almost feel like a normal person. I told Nick last night that I felt great! Totally normal! IT'S AMAZING!

This morning I woke up in so much pain I couldn't stand. I could. not. stand. I literally walked hunched over to the bathroom to take pain medicine and to pray that it eased up before work started. I thought about calling in, but how do I do that? How can I miss work for something that will be happening every few weeks? I decided to take a hot shower and give the medicine time to work. And it has. Not all the way. I am still extremely uncomfortable, but I can stand up. And that is important.

I hate this. But there isn't much else to do about it now. I will see how the next few months go, and then will have to make some decisions. If it stays this bad, or gets worse (like it always seems to do) there will have to be discussions with my doctor. Maybe another lap, I don't know. For now I am just sad to know that I am not cured. That it wasn't magic, it was just biding it's time. Damn endo.

Monday, August 22, 2011


I had plans to do a picture post of Henry today. Really I did. I had these pictures I took last week, and thought they would come together as a cute little post. And I will post it. Eventually. But this weekend I just couldn't find the time to load the five or so pictures on to flickr. Not because we were insanely busy or out of town. Nobody was sick, nothing big happened. I am just completely consumed with the world of Jamie and Claire.

You all have been telling me for years to read Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. It has forever been on of my mom's favorite books. Whenever we discuss favorite characters, she always says, "Oh... Jamie and Claire". I have posted on here about my love of book series and you all have said to me "Read Outlander!! It's my favorite book series!" And for some reason I ignored you. WHAT is my problem? Why do I not trust you all? My sister told me, my Aunts told me, everyone seemed to love Jamie and Claire. And yet I resisted.

A few weeks ago there was something going around on blogs about favorite literary characters, and the two that seemed to be listed the most were Harry Potter and Jamie Fraser. "Hmmm..." I thought to myself. People are grouping these books with Harry Potter? People are listing Jamie as "favorite character EVER?" I had the book at my house, and considered it. Then I notice on Twitter that a ton of people were reading, and were LOVING it. And I caved. I started Outlander.

You guys. YOU GUYS. THE LOVE. I have about 150 pages of the first book left, which on a 625 page book is the final stretch. I cannot put it down. CANNOT PUT IT DOWN. I have been staying up until 1am reading. I wake up thinking about it. I read at every open opportunity. I LOVE this book. It will officially move to my short list of true favorites. This is one that I will carry with me. One that will come to mind when people ask what's my favorite. Jamie and Claire. Yep. They are right up there are the top of the list. They are now two of my favorite literary characters of all time. And this is just book one.

PS. I posted an update on Sweet Missy and her latest visit to the NIH over on Kicking Cancer. Take a look if you have time.

Friday, August 19, 2011

For the Love of Falafel

I have to tell you, I am addicted. To Mediterranean food. YOU ALL. HAVE YOU HAD THIS? No. My Cap lock isn't stuck. That is just how PASSIONATE I am about this food. The hummus and pita bread, the Greek salad, the chicken, the rice, the falafels. Oh my.

So anyway, this addiction has been growing for some time now. My old boss took me to a local Mediterranean place and I was like "Well, I will just try it and see. And took one bite and declared: "THIS! This is exactly what I want to eat ALL. THE. TIME." After that trip I took my best work friend Kristin there, and she was like "Well... we can give it a go, and then also proclaimed "THIS!! ALL. THE. TIME!" And since then we have scheduled a date at the little place every few weeks.

Well, then our local wonderful little shop decided to close down for SIX WEEKS. You all. Who does that? What independent restaurant just closes shop for summer to go visit family in Greece? Apparently these people do. So Kristin and I have been counting down the days until we can once again go back.

Now in this six week break a new girl started at work. We had talked about taking her out to lunch, so when it was time to go back to Mediterranean we decided this shall be her welcome lunch. She said something along the lines of being a picky eater, to which Kristin and I ignored entirely because the FALAFELS were back! We told her not to fear it, EMBRACE it. I comfortingly told her that this isn't like Thai or Indian, this is very basic. Grilled chicken, rice, Greek salad. You can't go wrong! My comparision to Thai or Indian did nothing to sooth her. She mentioned she is a burger girl. And you all... we knew it was wrong. This was her welcome lunch! We should... you know... let her pick where we eat. But the falafels and hummus blinded us.

So yesterday four of us from the lab headed to the perfect Mediteranian place. I first started to feel guilty when the new girl only ordered one piece of plain Pita bread. But still! I knew I could convert her! We talked her into trying some Hummus. She dipped the tiniest bit of her pita in and took a bite. I question if she could really taste it much at all. It did not go over well. Then we told her to take a bite of falafel. as soon as she saw the green interior her face was horrified. She took one little bite went back to her plain pita. I think I said "Try this!! It's SO GOOD!" about a dozen times. And every single time I could feel myself becoming a little more annoying to her. I COULD NOT let it go. I was like a mom of a toddler (Heh) saying "If you just TRY it you will LIKE IT!" But she did not. Not at all. She was nice and we had great conversations, but when we left I had to admit that she couldn't have possibly been happy with her 'Welcome to the Lab' lunch.

I do feel a little guilty, but not too much. I ate nearly the entire order of Falafels we ordered her on top of my own meal. Still, I am thinking she should get a do over on the welcome meal. Maybe Applesbees....or INDIAN!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


We are coming up on six months in Henry's speech therapy. I was talking with his therapist today about how we used to keep track of his words. "He can say eight words...but only really uses three on his own". The fact that I said that six months ago blows my mind. How far my little man has come. I have no idea how many words Henry can say now. There are way too many to count. Today during a 20 minute section of his therapy he said 30 different words, and they included things like:

"Plane flies!! BEE!! BEE FLIES!! Plane, Bee Fly!!" While making flying noises and making the bee and plane fly around the room

"Niiiiiiiiiice" used when looking at an impressive tower of blocks he built. (This is one of my all time favorite things he says because of the inflection. It is awesome)

"There it is!" used when finding the location for one of the final puzzle pieces he was putting in place

"More juice?" he asked his teacher before pouring fake juice into a small cup.

He then smiled and said "Pretend!" because we keep telling him he can't actually EAT the fake food.

"Yellow Block", "Shoe, foot!", "Hat, Head!", "Pop bubbles. POP POP POP!"

Lots more. Lots and lots. I can't even think of all the things he says, because he talks all the time. And it's one of those things I get to stop worrying about. He is fine. He is smart. He is perfect.
We reevaluate his need to continue speech therapy next week, and whatever the decide is fine. His therapist wants to keep him in, working on sentences and increasing his vocabulary. Either way is okay with me. All I care about is that he is using his language. We understand him. He tells us what he wants and our life has gotten dramatically easier with that simple ability.
Henry and Buzz
"Mama! Buzz Fly"

"That's right baby. Buzz flies. And Henry talks"

His voice is beautiful to me.

Monday, August 15, 2011


I am thinking we might need to lighten the mood around here. What do you all think? So let's move on to the subject of one moppy headed boy and how it may or may not have been mentioned to me recently (maybe a couple of times) that is could possibly be time for...you know...a hair cut.
Henry: "Hellloooooo Ladies. What are we talking about?"

Mama: "Hi baby! We are just discussing how some people (not ME) think it may be time for... You know...a hair cut"
Henry: "You all just wait one minute! Now Mama, we have discussed this. You KNOW how if my first career choice as a race car driver doesn't work out, and if cowboy, space ranger and Batman also fall through, that I am totally planning on becoming a Samurai!"

Mama: "I know Henry, but..."

Henry: " And EVERYONE knows that a Samurai is only as good as his Topknott! I mean, that's where they keep their Strength. You wouldn't think of cutting off my strength mama, right? WOULD YOU CUT OFF MY STRENGTH?

Mama: "Well now Henry, your strength doesn't REALLY live in your..."

Henry: " Wait! Before you answer just take a look at this!"
Mama: "Oh. Well..."

Henry: "It's my TOPKNOTT!"

Mama: "yes, I see that. And you do seem really proud of it"

Henry : "You've got that right. Plus, check it out from the side"
Mama: " Well. Nobody could deny that that is impressive."

Henry: " I rest my case."

PS. After much debate we did decide it was time to get the Topknott trimmed. In our house this is basically a buzz cut.
I am happy to report his strength is still fully intact.

PPS. When Nick saw the "topknott" he told me to take out the ponytail. When I informed him that it was actually a topknott he thought for a second, shook his head and said "Okay. We need to get him a sword."

I love my family.

Friday, August 12, 2011

My Answer

I am a faith filled person. For some reason, I have never been a fan of calling myself religious, but I am extremely faith filled. I don't talk about my faith on here much, not for any reason beyond I just don't. But at the same time it isn't a secret. It's always there.

I have prayed a lot recently. More than I normally do. Or maybe we all do that in difficult times. But I have been praying more since the failure of our last FET. I have been praying, and I feel as if I have been hearing an answer. "Be still. Listen. Trust. Let go."

The clomid question has thrown me for a loop. More of one than I expected when the prescription was handed to me. As the paper moved from my doctors hand to mine it just seemed obvious that I would be taking these pills. I mean, I was the one who brought up the lack of ovulation. Why mention it if I wasn't hoping he would do something about it? But ever since the appointment I have felt uneasy about it. Like I was doing the opposite of what I had been hearing in my prayers. I was on the move. Talking myself into things. Taking control. Holding on.

I am not going to take the clomid. And I feel very good about the decision. I feel like it is the right one for my family. I feel like it is the answer that my faith is pointing me towards. Not that I believe god will give me a baby if I don't take the medicine, that I will miraculously fall pregnant, but I believe that if I am meant to have another baby I will. That all the side effects and the questions that would come along with this simple medication, the opening of newly healed wounds and the turning my back on decisions made... it's just not the right thing for us.

I will be still. Live in the now. Be happy with what I have. I will have faith that what is suppose to happen will happen.

I know a lot of people view faith as a cop out on these types of decisions. Maybe it is, but I know that now I have made this decision, I feel much more at peace with it. By taking this chance to say no, we really are done, that we are letting go, I feel more at peace with our future. I know the Clomid most likely wouldn't have resulted in a pregnancy. But it feels nice to decide in favor of my health and mental stability, to side with Nick and keep the agreement we made rather than just blindly going after what I want, no matter the cost.

I am trying to be still. I am trying to listen. I am trying, really really trying to stay faith filled. And I believe in my heart that this is the right decision. Just as I feel that the IVF that gave us Henry was the right decision. The answer to prayers. And I feel that the two failed FET's were the right decision. As hard as they were, they brought me here. To a place where I can let go. And maybe not exactly feel happy with these answers, but to feel a growing peace with them. And that too is an answered prayer.

Thank you for your support, and thank you to those commenters who let me know that clomid increased their problems with their endometriosis. It was just one more thing to help point me in the direction I needed to go.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Clomid Question

I had my annual appointment with my OBGYN yesterday. We talked a lot about my endo, my infertility and where we stand on this baby business. We talked about my temperature charting and he agreed, I am not ovulating. He offered me a prescription for Clomid, with instructions to take it no longer than three months, and that was that. A pill to make me ovulate. To put our foot, ever so slightly, back in the trying to conceive game. Except, maybe not.

I cannot decide if I even want to take it. I mean, part of me REALLY wants to take it, but at the same time...I am extremely torn. First off, Nick doesn't want me to. That is big. His wishes, I mean, they have to matter. And Nick is very happy with our family of three. He says if it happens on it's own that's one thing, but we had decided we were done with treatment, and he wants to stick to that. I can't blame him. I mean, he picks up the pieces each month that it doesn't work. And he feels complete with our family. And we had agreed, we were done with treatments. So there is that. He said it was up to me, but I know what he would prefer. And it means so much that he said I could take it if I wanted, but still, does that make it okay to just do it? When we had agreed, when I know what he wants?

Then there is the fact that they don't want you taking Clomid more than six cycles because any more than that increases the risks of some cancers. And... that isn't something I like the idea of messing with. I am way too familiar with cancer to risk things for a medication that will most likely have no real effect on anything positive. And even though I have only taken it three months, I have also taken a ton of other fertility medications and who knows what those will all do to me. Is it worth risking taking more?

And... I guess there is the fact that I don't think there is any point in taking it. When I read online that people are doing an unmonitored Clomid cycle after failed IVF's I just assume it wont work. I mean, we all start with Clomid cycles, or something like that. My RE told us he wouldn't do more than three Clomid IUI's because after that there was no point. Statistically we wouldn't get pregnant from them. So, why would I put myself through it when I don't think it really has a shot in hell of working?

And the thing is, that even though I can sit here now and say I don't think it has a chance of working, I know that I will be so hopeful each month that I would be on it. Thinking maybe, possibly, and eventually, thinking probably. Before, once again, being let down. I am in a better place than I was two months ago. I am enjoying my sweet boy and I am happy with our family. My heart aches for another, but that ache is dulling. I worry that taking Clomid will rip those newly scabbed wounds back open. And if I thought it might work, I might be more willing. But now, I just don't know.

So I am thinking on it. This post makes me think I wont take it, now that I see all my points in black and white. I can't seem to find one good reason to try it beyond the far off "Maybe..." of it working. But at the same time, it is hard to walk away from a maybe, no matter how far off the chances of it working may be. Because I so want that maybe to be a yes.


Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The Cable Cut

We have been reevaluating our budget lately. It isn't pretty. The infertility and new furnace/AC bills are hitting us hard. Toss in some uncertainty about Nick's job (He works in fossil fuel research here at the University, but their funding comes from an Ear Mark that has been removed. We are keeping our fingers crossed that a last minute grant will come in to save the department, but that is still very up in the air.) and you have one family that is living tight, and has the fear of needing to live tighter soon.

So, we had to make the hard decisions on cutting back. And one of the places to cut was the Cable. We didn't turn it all the way off, but cut back to basic, which took us from like 500 channels to like 6 watchable channels, but we kept the internet and the DVR. Sounds reasonable, right? It should be reasonable. Here's the thing. Watching TV is what we DO. I know that sounds awful. Like, shouldn't we DO more productive things like quilting, or exercising? Maybe wood-working or puzzles? But we don't. What we DO in the evenings is watch TV and eat. And TV is good. So is food, but that is a different matter all together.

Do you know the very worst time of year to turn off your cable? It is the summer. I mean, you would think with all those daylight hours we could just enjoy the great outdoors... but it is Burning Blue Blazes hot around here, and there is NOTHING ON Basic TV. Like, we just look at it, then turn it back off. Nick will say "Well... lets see what's on. Nothing. Again"

We are watching a lot of Futurama and Mystery Science Theater 3000 on instant Netflix... we watch the news, which turns out is extremely depressing. Some Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. You guys, I am really realizing how much TV we actually had been watching. Because now that anything good is gone, we seem to be left with a lot of free time. I am reading. A LOT. And I am enjoying it, but it is a solo activity. I can't bring myself to read out loud to Nick, as if it were some play or something. Like back in the day when people sat around the fire and read stories to each other. I could do it... but no. I can't. That would be ridiculous.

I mean, I know we could just TALK. But... we talk at dinner, we talk during the day. We talk ALL THE TIME. We can't just spend hours each night getting to know each other with deep conversations. The Gig is up. We have been together 12 years. WE KNOW EACH OTHER. If the TV was on, we could discuss the fact that we had no IDEA that was how marbles were made or something. But now, I read, he plays video games. Sometimes we play games together. 'The World of Goo' on the Wii is fun. We play with Henry, who seems to not care in the slightest the that cable is gone. We still have DVD's of Nemo and Woody. All is right with the world according to H.

But I am really ready for the summer break on TV to end and for the shows I enjoy to come back. I miss them. Which is sad but true. I would like to say I have become independent from TV, that it is easy to give up! But damn, we miss it.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Sweet Child of Mine

You know what will brighten your day on this Monday morning? My child! What? Oh come on, you KNOW he will brighten your day! Look at that hair! and the tie dye! He looks like a beach bum who has been dropped down right smack in the middle of land locked Kentucky! (I! LIKE! EXCLAMATION! POINTS!)

I have been wanting to get him on film talking about his family for awhile. We started out planning to get everyone's name in the family on film, but around Aunt Mimi (when we started family not actually in the room) he lost interest, and by Papaw he was nearly gone entirely, so we switched to the alphabet. His favorite subject. He can now read all the letters and numbers 0-9, but this is just his repeating his A-B-C's. It is rather adorable, and I don't think for one second that I am bias. Just watch and try to tell me he isn't the sweetest child ever born.

*Aunt Candice, I know we didn't make it to your name, but the "Oooooo" is just for you :) We will get the other side of the family on film soon!

Friday, August 5, 2011

My Day Has Been Made


You all. I am so excited. I didn't think I would get in. I actually didn't even plan on trying because...those Harry Potter fans, they are SERIOUS. But I sat down on break today and saw on Mugglenet's Twitter account the doors were open. (What?? Doesn't everyone follow Mugglenet?) If you could answer the trivia question, and quickly, you might get to be one of the select few to view Pottermore first. So... I did it. And I was. I am. And I am completely thrilled. Like, maybe slightly embarrassingly excited. Except, there is no need to be embarrassed of Harry Potter. Because the boy wizard is awesome.

Also, I am a nerd.

Also again, if you are curious what the heck Pottermore is, it is an interactive Harry Potter website that JK Rowling is unrolling this fall. You get lots of new information about the books. You get to be sorted! SORTED! I am ridiculously excited to be one of the first to see it!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Cici's Birthday Bash!

So Cici! Her Birthday! It Happened! Wanna see?
Cici turns one
Happy Birthday to ME!
Cici turns one
Party Decor
Cici turns one
Boo and I worked hard on the cake!
Cici turns one
Favors, pictures, baby book.... it all really did come together really great!
Cici turns one
The Family.
Cici turns one
My boys. Henry looks thrilled!
Cici turns one
As does Cici! Clearly she is so happy to be with her Aunt Sarah and Candice rather than playing with the other kids
Cici turns one
The child got a gift or two.
Cici turns one
She loved them!
Cici turns one
She had her own cake! (I love this picture)
Cici turns one
She didn't really care a thing about it. "What about all those presents? Can we get back to THAT?"
Cici turns one
"Oh this is good. Shoes. I think I might LOVE shoes!"
Cici turns one
With her Great-Mamaw
Cici turns one
With Aunt Missy and George
Cici turns one
And this was the best cousin shot we could get! These kids...they need to learn to hold still!

So that's about it. It was a great party. Truly wonderful. We love our sweet Cici so!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Rainy Day

"Pool?" Henry asks before bed. He has been asking for days. Even bringing me his swim trunks and swim shirt and shaking them at me, "Pool? Pool? Pool?" Finally I could say yes.

"Tomorrow baby. I promise. We are going to Aunt Mimi's to swim!"

"Mimi? Pool? Mimi! POOL!!!!"

This morning he woke up with the same request. "Pool?"

"Yes baby. After Ms. Lauren comes to help you with speech. Then Pool!"

"POOL!" He yelled, then laughed and said "YAY!!"

When Nick walked out to go to work he told me to come out with the camera. They sky looked like this:

Which... you know...looks sorta ominous.

All during speech I hoped it would blow over. But next thing we knew the Severe Weather Sirens were going off and we had to accept it.

"Pool?" He asked as Ms. Lauren dashed for the car in the down pour.

"No baby. Mama is so sorry. No pool today." I hate breaking promises. I hate letting him down, even when it is totally out of my control. It breaks my heart to say no when I already said yes. It breaks my heart to say no when I want to say yes.

He looked out the window and let out a deep sigh. Dropped his little head for just a second in defeat, then looked at me and asked "Fish?", pointing to the TV. Asking to watch Finding Nemo instead.

"Sure baby"

"YAY!!! FISH!!"

I smiled at him, amazed at how easily he can accept canceled plans. The thing he has been begging for, the thing I promised we would do today. But instead we will watch Fish. And them Maybe Woody too. And soon... really soon, we will go to the pool.
Rainy Day
I wish all things I wanted to give him but cant were as easy to fix as watching movies on a rainy day and going to the pool, keeping the promise, as soon as the sun comes out.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Pile Day

We had a great weekend. Really pretty perfect. We celebrated sweet Cici's birthday on Saturday, and I will post a few pictures from that enjoyable event once I load them up on Flickr. Yesterday I woke up at 10:30 and was a little confused. I heard Henry in his room, talking to himself and go to check on him. I find him laying in bed, reading a book surrounded by his owl and a million matchbox cars. He looked up and smiled. Just like "Oh, Hi Mama. I was just letting you sleep in". Good lord I love that child.

We thought about going swimming or doing something, anything. But in the end decided against it. We took a family day to pile. Just the three of us. Food, video games, movies, books. We laughed and played and had a wonderful day. The only time I left the house was to pick up dinner. Because with all that piling around I wasn't up for cooking.

I did manage to read the entire third book in Nora Roberts Bridal Quartet. You know I have a weakness for weddings and close girlfriends and book series, so I am LOVING these books. They are about four best friends running a bridal company and each book focuses on one of the girls. I am now on the last one, and will be sad when the series is over. They are simple stories, but completely enjoyable. Worth reading.

Okay, that's actually all I've got. I guess days of piling don't lead to good blogging. (It was totally worth it.)