Thursday, February 14, 2013

Baby Steps

Last night at 8pm Nick, Henry and I ran to CVS to look at the picked over Valentine selection.  Tucked in the back, hidden behind the generic 3D dogs and unicorns was one last box of Angry Bird Valentines. We bought  them, along with some heart shaped Nestle Crunch candy, and considered his school party officially prepared for.

Our family is doing okay.  Not great, not good, but definitely in the land of okay.  We realized yesterday that to the outside world we might be starting to worry some people.  We have not really emerged from the family cocoon.  We did a small family gathering last Sunday, and since then, it has just been us and the ministers. We are planning her service, which will be Saturday.  We didn't want any event on Valentines Day, and since Missy had decided to be cremated we had some time, so we waited a full week.  It is the best decision we could have ever made. We have looked at pictures, spent time together, cried, laughed, prayed, and I think when Friday and Saturday get here we will be ready to celebrate her amazing life.

And then I think the grieving will change.  In a way it will be harder, when we go back to work and life.  When we have to accept that not everyone will think of nothing but her all of the time.  That life keeps going.  The weeks to come will be difficult.  The years to come will be difficult.  Nothing will ever be the same.  But I think we are ready to start taking the baby steps out into what comes next.

I scanned some pictures yesterday.  She was so beautiful. Sweet Missy
God, I miss her so much already.



  1. I've been thinking about you and your family a lot. My heart still aches for your loss. I continue to keep you guys in my prayers. I hope that through the baby steps ahead, you will find peace. God Bless.

  2. Thinking of you and praying for you, Boo and your family this week and the upcoming weeks while you try to create a new normal.

  3. Still praying for you and your sweet family...for a peace that surpasses understanding. Baby steps are the best kind of steps, and I'm so happy that you're making them.

  4. Hugs, hugs, an LOTS of hugs coming your way. You have many people keeping you and your family in their thoughts and prayers.

  5. It is hard to go about life when something like this happens. You kind of want to have a stop watch to stop time and let you grieve and remember in a vacumn. But life is not like that and we have to keep buying valentines day cards and going to the grocery store, while trying to process our loss.

    She was indeed beautiful. :-)

  6. Thinking of you, you are doing what feels right and that's important. I think having such a strong faith like you and your family have is an incredible blessing. Much love, she was truly beautiful.

  7. Grieving is personal and has no timeline. Take your time and we're here for you. Lots of love to you all.


  8. I have not been blogging much at all lately, but have been reading. I came back after a week away and your your post about your sweet sister. I am so so sorry for your loss.
    I remember whenShawn died I was more worried and afraid of the weeks and months after his funeral then those actual days. As time went on I was worried that people would forget about him and his life and I would be the only one left with this huge hole in my life. I didn't want people to forget him. Now almost 5 years later I still think about him every single day, and I'm pretty sure others think of him too. As time went on I realized others would probably think of him less and I realized that was ok and had no effect on. How I would think of him or remember him. The memories the two of us had will always be with me.
    Cry when you want too, laugh when you want too and scream when you want too. Hell do all three at the same time, often times those were the times I felt "best" after.
    Just know that we are all thinking about you and praying for you and your family.

  9. Thinking of you and your family. Yes, she was beautiful. Strength, prayers, and hugs.