Thursday, August 19, 2010

King Bee

Henry has amazing vision. Something that really surprised us, honestly. I mean, Nick and I are both blind as bats without our glasses, so we just assumed our defective genetic material would pass on to our son and he would also require glasses. And braces. Oh dear lord we will have to get him braces. But as of now, his vision seems to be stellar. He will spot the tiniest of specs on our oriental-like rug in the living room. I mean, the rug is PATTERNED. I have no idea how he sees these things on it, but he manages to find new "treasures" every single day. Treasures that commonly go directly in his mouth. Because of this we quickly had to teach him that all of these "treasures" need to be picked up and immediately brought to one of us to inspect. We did this by putting our hand out and saying "THANK YOU!!" when we see him pick something up. He runs it over to us full of enthusiasm over his new find. Now we don't even need the "thank you". As soon as he finds something, he comes running.

So yesterday I was at the house and I was keeping Cici while Boo was at a meeting. Henry came running from the dining room with his hand out, offering me his newest treasure to inspect and praise. I could see that it was small and black, and assumed it was yet again a clump of Ellie hair. A true treasure. I am not really even watching as he drops the item into my hand. And I roll it around in my fingers, really just looking at Cici, as I say "thank you Henry!!".

But the item. It isn't hair. That much is obvious from the first touch. It's sorta...hard. And has little pieces sticking off of it. It isn't exactly round...but...what the hell? I take a real look. And it's...a head. A HEAD. Of a bug. A LARGE bug. I mean, the head was larger than a pea. And it was JUST THE HEAD. So I shudder in horror. Quickly trying to assess where this head has come from, and where the BODY may be. I assume it has to be a beetle. What else gets this LARGE?

That's when I see it. Apparently Henry was holding out. He gave me the head for inspection,but he held on to the true treasure. The body. The Yellow and Black striped body. The body that was HUGE. HUUUUUUGE. And fuzzy. And...and...was clearly the KING OF ALL BEES. I leap up from the chair. Allowing the full body cringe to roll down my spine, and I grab Henry. I pry the dead bee body from his hand, and he begins to scream. I think at first he is stung. I mean, how could he not be stung?? It was the KING BEE. But then I really see him, and he is angry. WHY had I taken his prize possession from him? He wanted the bee body back!

One of many times that life isn't fair. I refused to give him his hearts desire. The dead bee carcass. But I did take a picture. So you all can see how truly large this thing was. And how horrifying.Nick's wedding ring is there for scale. The smaller thing, that's the head. *horror*. Boys will be boys I guess. *full body cringe*


  1. my kids do the exact same thing! Every speck of fuzz can be found and picked up. Our carpet is also patterened. Aren't they cute when they proudly hand you trash? Reminds me just how much I really need to vacuum.

  2. That's a really neat way to stop kids eating what they find on the floor - plus you get to turn it into a game. I guess the down side is sometimes you get very unexpected gifts. Glad no one was hurt by the bee.

  3. Funniest. post. ever. Thanks for sharing. And seriously, that is a HUGE bee.

  4. Of course King Henry would find and slay a King Bee. Then bring his mama its head. He makes me sooo proud!!!


  5. Of course there can only be one King Bee in a house. Henry obviously knew this and did the dirty dead. Henry's reign contimues!! Annie

  6. Horrifying.

    I think you are doing weird bio experiments that went wrong and created the kind of monsters you see in movies?