I randomly decided to read over some old blog posts yesterday. I was actually trying to find out the date of my last laparoscopic surgery for my endometriosis (it was in May of 2007, if you are wondering) and I got sucked into reading some of the blog posts from around that time. And you know what I discovered? First off, some of the posts were really funny. Some of them I loved reading over and laughed out loud about (yes, I am a nerd who enjoys reading her own posts.) But...I also found out that at in at least a couple of the posts I read, I was sorta...mean. Mean in my writing or mean in the story I was telling. This was a total shock to me.
Okay, maybe I wasn't exactly mean, but I was definitely snarky... which may just be a, blogger invented, nicer word for mean. I was a little surprised with myself! I was mouthing off about everything under the sun. Talking about yelling at some poor girl at McDonald's. Talking about a cop that gave me a ticket. I especially liked how I had a post about my work reading my blog, then went on several posts later to actually bitch about work. That is classy right there. I vaguely remember my mom being worried about that, but I felt it wasn't a big deal. Looking back...mom was right. (again). I am pretty positive I have turned the snark way down here at Bio Girl, maybe because I am more aware of my readers, maybe because the blog focuses more on family now, but it seems to be muted. But I know I still have a very strong snarky side living in me.
So this has me thinking, am I a mean person? Am I snarky to the point of rudeness? I don't think I am, but then I catch myself sometimes popping off with these off handed comments that I wish I could take back. Sometimes (hopefully most of the time) they are just funny, but sometimes they are also a little mean. I think now that I have Henry, and am a few years older, I have at least become slightly more aware of holding my tongue. But I still can struggle with it. How do you know when a joke crosses the line? Based on my old posts, I used to be somewhat unaware of the line. I hope I am doing better. I can't completely turn off my snarky side, and I don't want to, but I don't want to sound like a bitch all the time either. Or actually be a bitch all the time, just for a few laughs. That is definitely something to be avoided.
*One of my best friends, Whitney , sent me a message saying that it's not mean, it's sarcastic and witty, and that we are blessed with it. That makes me feel better :) Sarcastic and witty sounds WAY better than snarky and mean!
** I bet you all are wondering if Henry has fallen off the face of the earth, since he has not been photographed on here in over a week... SHAME. I will dedicate a post to his sweet face sometime this weekend!**