Friday, August 6, 2010

Mean

I randomly decided to read over some old blog posts yesterday. I was actually trying to find out the date of my last laparoscopic surgery for my endometriosis (it was in May of 2007, if you are wondering) and I got sucked into reading some of the blog posts from around that time. And you know what I discovered? First off, some of the posts were really funny. Some of them I loved reading over and laughed out loud about (yes, I am a nerd who enjoys reading her own posts.) But...I also found out that at in at least a couple of the posts I read, I was sorta...mean. Mean in my writing or mean in the story I was telling. This was a total shock to me.

Okay, maybe I wasn't exactly mean, but I was definitely snarky... which may just be a, blogger invented, nicer word for mean. I was a little surprised with myself! I was mouthing off about everything under the sun. Talking about yelling at some poor girl at McDonald's. Talking about a cop that gave me a ticket. I especially liked how I had a post about my work reading my blog, then went on several posts later to actually bitch about work. That is classy right there. I vaguely remember my mom being worried about that, but I felt it wasn't a big deal. Looking back...mom was right. (again). I am pretty positive I have turned the snark way down here at Bio Girl, maybe because I am more aware of my readers, maybe because the blog focuses more on family now, but it seems to be muted. But I know I still have a very strong snarky side living in me.

So this has me thinking, am I a mean person? Am I snarky to the point of rudeness? I don't think I am, but then I catch myself sometimes popping off with these off handed comments that I wish I could take back. Sometimes (hopefully most of the time) they are just funny, but sometimes they are also a little mean. I think now that I have Henry, and am a few years older, I have at least become slightly more aware of holding my tongue. But I still can struggle with it. How do you know when a joke crosses the line? Based on my old posts, I used to be somewhat unaware of the line. I hope I am doing better. I can't completely turn off my snarky side, and I don't want to, but I don't want to sound like a bitch all the time either. Or actually be a bitch all the time, just for a few laughs. That is definitely something to be avoided.

*One of my best friends, Whitney , sent me a message saying that it's not mean, it's sarcastic and witty, and that we are blessed with it. That makes me feel better :) Sarcastic and witty sounds WAY better than snarky and mean!

** I bet you all are wondering if Henry has fallen off the face of the earth, since he has not been photographed on here in over a week... SHAME. I will dedicate a post to his sweet face sometime this weekend!**

4 comments:

  1. I feel the same way about my archives. I can't believe some of the stuff I used to write. I'm sure I'll look back in a year and think that same thing about what I'm writing now. I'm trying to defeat snarkiness.

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  2. Well, I wasn't reading your blog way back then, but I have never thought of you as anywhere near mean: you rock, and that is that!! Seriously, I love your posts: keep them coming :)

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  3. I don't think you are mean.. I don't remember the blogs you are talking about though. I feel your posts are witty and humorous... I love reading them..and Henry is awesome!!!!

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  4. Those posts may have just reflected the pain you were going through at that time with IF.

    I know I'm a lot less smiley than before our IF Dx. I look forward to a time when I can smile more, hopefully with a baby!

    Thanks for the invite to join you on Twit.ter! you did leave the "r" off your Twit.ter name, tho, but I found you!

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