So, I have made a decision. I have joined Weight Watchers. This isn't some crazy unheard of thing for me. I actually went to weight watchers back several years ago. Back when I thought I was big. Ahhh hahaha. When I signed in at my first meeting last week the woman actually asked me if I wanted to keep my goal weight the same as it was back in 2005. I laughed. hard. Then told her to go ahead and add twenty pounds to that. Seriously. My new goal is TWENTY POUNDS heavier than my goal weight in 2005. Still, it's all about baby steps, right?
In truth, my goal weight with them is not my true goal weight. It is just my pre-pregnancy weight. A weight that as of my first meeting last week I am 8.8 pounds away from. Doesn't sound bad...until you take into account that I have been 6-10 pounds away from it since two weeks after Henry was born. So close, and yet so far. So I decided I needed a little help.
So my weight watcher goal is my pre-pregnancy weight. I will then once again be a lifetime member, because last time I went I lost like 20 pounds and became a lifetime member and it was FREE for me to go and I was all like, "I will ALWAYS go and I will from now on be SKINNY!!!" And then one day I stopped going....because I was tired of feeling guilty about eating ALL THE DELICIOUS FOOD...and then I put on twenty pounds...and then I got pregnant. So anyway, my first goal is my pre-pregnancy weight, and then my second goal is my infertility weight. Another ten pounds. The other half of the 20 added pounds? Well, that is just chalked up as I-am-now-older-and-married-with-a-baby weight.
But for now it is the baby steps. I went in today and found out I lost 2.4 pounds over the past week. Even with the funeral and the visitation and the family and the food. 2.4 pounds. It feels nice to be doing something about the weight. To be taking control. This past week I have realized HOW MUCH FOOD I EAT. People, I eat ALL THE TIME. And that just needs to get under control. I will never give up the food I love, but I can remind myself to use just a touch of self control. I can get back to a size I am more comfortable with. I am honestly not big now, and I know that. But I am not happy with my body. I don't feel like myself. I don't have to be where I was five years ago, but I do want to be comfortable in my own skin. To be able to wear my clothes and feel like I look like myself. I am ready for a change.
The old saying is that it takes nine months to put on pregnancy weight and it takes nine months to take it off. That gives me a month to loose this last 6.4 pounds. I think I can do it.