Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Stepping Back

Thank you for all of your support yesterday.  I am really doing okay.  I find myself saying that a lot. But I am fine.  Really, I am.

Yesterday after posting, I was emotional and wanted to get myself under control.  I called Missy, who was spending the day with Henry.  She answers the phone and was out of breath.  She says sorry, they are just in the middle of a Michael Jackson dance party.  At that point I hear Henry says "Dance Mimi! Dance!"

And I took a small step back from the emotional ledge.

After working my ten hour day I headed across campus to my class.  It was our first time meeting and the professor is amazing.  Each week we are to do some reading on a women's health topic, then email her a "Casual, in our own voice, opinion on what we found interesting about the reading".  The rest of the class seemed to think it sounded difficult.  I thought it sounded a lot like a blog post.  Toward the end of the class she said that this class used to be called "Maternal Health" but she felt that did women in general a disservice.  That many women do not have children, both because they choose not to and because they are not able to.  This class would cover all of that.  Both Infertility and Endometriosis were mentioned as topics we would cover.  I smiled and thought that I am going to love this course.

And I took a small step back from the emotional ledge.

I went home and had a late dinner with Nick and Henry.  We played matchbox cars and then read stories before bed.  He picked out 'I Love You Forever'.

And I took a small step back from the emotional ledge.

After tucking him in I went into the kitchen and started cooking a casserole to bring to my friend at work.  She lost her mom last week and today is her first day back.  I thought of my mom.  Of my family.  And I thought how much worse things could be.  How lucky I am.  

And I took a small step back from the emotional ledge.

I climbed into bed around midnight.  Exhausted.  But feeling much better than I did when I woke up.  Someties it all comes crashing down, and you are pushed to your emotional limits.  That was me yesterday.  Not for any one reason, but for lots of little ones that just added up.  But still, you can't live your life on the ledge.  There are too many good things going on around me that I don't want to miss.
Thank you all for listening. Thank you for helping me take a step back. Because your words of support did just that. They helped me take one more step back from the ledge.


  1. Love how you wrote this. I often find myself having to just take that step back...and find the good things in my life. Thanks for reminding me of that too.

  2. Beautifully written and beautifully handled. Hoping that each day gets easier.

  3. Hang in there Warrior! Great blog entry and great perspective.

  4. It's so nice to be able to recognize the things you do have. Very nice job!

    ps - I also live in the wonderful bluegrass state!

    1. Aw, that is awesome! In my head you lived in New England. Not sure why though... We are going to have to get our boys together someday :)

  5. So many hugs coming your way xx

    The course sounds amazing, how wonderful you have such a great sounding professor. Do keep us informed how it goes!