Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Grey Ones

So, according to Henry, he got abducted my Aliens this weekend.  No big thing. 

Shockingly this has nothing to do with the picture I posted earlier this week, but I will show it to you again, just because it is awesome and sorta fits with the theme of the post:
If you are confused, the theme of the post  is 'things that look like alien abductions but most likely aren't'. It's a complicated theme, but it's still a theme. I am nothing if not a serious author of fine literary work.

Okay, enough with the stalling.  Here is the alien abduction story.  Thursday night Henry stayed the night with my parents so he could celebrate his Great-Mamaw's birthday.  When I met my dad to pick him up, he looked like this in the back of the car.

So he might have been a little tired.  Who can know for sure?  But he got upset on the way home, mostly because by the time he woke all the way up he realized that he was now in my car and his beloved Papaw was gone and... well... basically he wasn't pleased.  But after a few minutes he calmed down and was just quiet.  After a few minutes of the silence he speaks up.

Henry: "Mama, my tummy hurt."

Mama: "What's wrong with it, baby?"

Henry: "Da Grey Ones cut it"

Mama thinks:  well that's startling

Mama says: "What are you talking about?  What grey ones??"

Henry: "Da two Grey Ones. Dey cut my tummy."

Mama thinks: This is sounding more disturbing that I previously thought.

Mama says: "Where did the Grey Ones come from Henry?"

Henry: " From de tunnel.  Da Tunnel with da lights."

Mama thinks: This sorta sounds like aliens, but I am reasonable and will not jump to conclusions.  I shall clarify this information.

Mama says: "WHAT?  Two Grey Ones from the tunnel with the lights came and CUT YOUR STOMACH??"

Henry says: "YEAH!!!"

Henry thinks: Now you get it!  Took you long enough!

Mama thinks: Holy shit, my kid was abducted by ALIENS!!! 

Mama says:  "Okay... well, I am sorry baby.  Watch out for those Grey Ones next time!"

(What the hell, right?  I know.  but like, what is the CORRECT reply to your kid telling you two Grey Ones cut his tummy?  Really.  It's a real question.  Was there a better answer than suggesting caution in your next encounter?  I think not.)

We get home and I tell Nick to ask Henry about his tummy and what happened.  He gives the exact same story.  Nick and I find this hilarious and also extremely disturbing.  But like, what can you do? I can't blame the aliens.  I keep telling you this kid is the coolest boy in the world.  The aliens must be drawn to his awesomeness just like everyone else.

The next day we were telling Granddaddy about this encounter and we once again asked about the Grey Ones.  Nick asked if they have eyes, and Henry said "NO PAPA!  Da Grey Ones don't have EYES!"  Like it was the silliest question in the history of time.  And then it occured to me that maybe the Grey Ones are like, two nails in the play ground at the park or something.  Two grey items, not alien in nature at all... I guess it's POSSIBLE.  I mean, there are a lot of grey things that could cut his tummy, and MOST of them aren't extra terestrial.

Still... I am sticking with the alien story.  It just sounds cooler.

For the record, I did check his stomach for scratches.  Or... you know... tiny lazer incisions from medical technology that far exceeds our own.  There was nothing there.  It's a mystery.

**Just a quick non-alien related addition here, but thank you all for your sweet and wonderful comments on my last post. I always apprecaite your support and love as I move through the emotions of this crazy life.  It was good for my heart to hear from so many of you, so thank you!


  1. I am absolutely HORRIFIED by this story...The Grey Ones?! *shudder...

  2. Um, yeah, that's freaky as hell!

    I don't know what I would say if my son told me that. In horror and trying to make light of the situation, I'd probably say something about calling Mulder to help.

  3. I just read this to Tim, 'cos you know Tim loves things like this. He said you should cover Henry's head in tin foil to stop them reading his mind ;)

  4. These readers don't even know the full background either...

  5. In one of our family scrapbooks is the first story I ever wrote, about a monster and a doll. I couldn't actually write yet, so it's in my mother's handwriting--but now I find it (a) funny, (b) dark, and (c) a very accurate reflection of the fact that I've never liked dolls.

    I think kids often have darker imaginations than we realize as adults--and they're just fine.