So I have sorta avoided this topic for the last month, but I think I am ready to full embrace where I am in life. And that place is on a diet. I hesitate to even mention it here because I feel like we have been down this road a few times before. Actually... I guess after eight years of blogging we have been down ALL the main topic roads before, but I just hate to be like "I am dieting!" then "I lost weight!" Then, inevitably..."Welp... I gained it all back." But it is what it is, and I am solidly back in the "gained it all (plus some) back" category, so might as well admit it.
Honestly, I have not been successful with losing much weight and keeping it off since we lost Missy. Through the grief of her getting sicker, then us losing her, I put on a lot of weight. I am a comfort eater... it is who I am. After that, I had my hysterectomy and I have just never been able to get any dieting traction. I would try for a couple of weeks, lose five pounds, then give up. Then, since they hysterectomy I would diet for a couple of weeks, lose two pounds, get frustrated that it wasn't working FASTER, say f*ck it and eat an entire pack of Oreos.
It's been a fun cycle.
And by fun I mean depressing.
But, after we got home from vacation I hit a weight I haven't seen since my post pregnancy days and I decided it was time to really really try. I am not using anything beyond the always effective eat-less-and-move-more method. I am back on My Fitness Pal because I have had a lot of success with it in the past, and it is once again working. Not as fast as it did before the hysterectomy, but slowly and surely the weight is coming off.
As of today I am down seven pounds. It might not sound like a lot, but it FEELS like a lot. It has been nearly a month and every time I get on the scale the number ticks down, and it's making me feel better about myself and my efforts to be healthier. I would be lying if I said I didn't care about the number on the scale, because I do, but in all honesty I am not even sure why my final goal number is. I just know I want to feel better about myself. I want to like the way I look, and I want to like the way I feel. Right now neither is true. So, I will work on this until I do... that might be another ten pounds, it might be another twenty. I am fairly certain I will know it when I get there.
So... I will once again post this high quality graphic I made in 2012: