My endometriosis is causing me serious problems today. The last two months have honestly been two of the easiest I have had since I was diagnosed several years ago. I am not sure why different months can be so different on my system, but clearly this is the case. I had hopes last month, as a second month in a row of low levels of pain, that maybe something had changed. Maybe I was better. Maybe I was CURED! Not so much.
I knew yesterday. It was becoming clear this was going to be one of the bad months. There is more I can do to handle things when I am home. I can lay on my heating pad. I can take more pain medication. I can sleep. When I am working, things get a little trickier. Today, for instance, there is a delicate balance of taking enough pain medication to be able to numb the pain, and not taking so much as to render me completely out of it and worthless...Tarp finds this line a little amusing...I can't say I blame him. I am just slightly in a fog. Just slightly not here. And when I say this, don't think I am on like thirty pills. I am on two (Risk Taker!! Dare Devil!!). Two is even written on the bottle. take one to two pills as needed for pain. For me, one equals normal me, two equals a me that should be in bed. A me that's favorite word becomes "What?" or, more accurately, "Huh?". Classy, I know.
So, I should be in bed. The meds are giving me this terrible heartburn, which I totally never have and is making me angry, but with them I will make it through this workday. I will get home, most likely cry some (I cannot stop from crying when I feel bad. I can hold it in at work, but it will come out as soon as I get home. I kinda feel like I am about to cry right now...) and fall asleep. I am off work tomorrow, so I just have to finish today. By Monday I will be better... but for now I will just find a way to manage the pain.