So yesterday I went to a play with my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law. It was the Secret Garden and it was put on at this tiny little playhouse in the town where my MIL lives. It was wonderful. I LOVE going to see plays. I honestly forget how much I enjoy it until I am there, and they bust out in song and I just get so excited! Love love love it.
Anyway, seeing as how I was going to a play I had to dress nice. I mean, it's a PLAY. You always gotta dress nicer than jeans and a t-shirt for a play. The problem...all I really have in my post pregnancy wardrobe are jeans and t-shirts. I know I told you I fit into that one pair of pre-pregnancy shorts, but they were my IVF shorts . I was already bigger than I had ever been, so I bought then to live in while doing IVF. The rest of my pre-pregnancy pre-IVF clothes are totally off limits.
Well, I had a plan. I had this dress. I tried it on a couple weeks ago and it looked pretty good, so I was going to wear that! No need to worry. No need to stress. I've got it covered. Well...Yesterday morning I put on said dress. Let's just say it wasn't as cute as I remembered. You could totally see my bra, which was not possible to not wear do to the nursing boobs, and it just hung weird and just looked too big. I asked Nick if it was okay, and he was quite. Not a good sign.
I panicked. I started flying through my closet hoping for ANYTHING I could squeeze into I found these black pin stripe pants and a black top. Black is good when you feel huge, right?? The entire outfit was bought right before my wedding, so it was definitely for the small version of me. I was doubtful, but I had been able to get the pants on in the IVF days, so I thought there was a chance. The pants were the kind with the two sliding clasps and with a button. I thought I could maybe slide the far clasp into the second clasps spot. Well, I did that, but it looked stupid as hell. So, I took the deepest breath imaginable and managed to actually get the pants to button and both clasps in place. It wasn't a pretty sight, but once I did a little stretching and got my shirt on it was a passable outfit!
Now, I was pretty pleased. I mean, I was actually WEARING my pre-pregnancy/ pre-IVF pin striped black pants!! AMAZING!! They were tight, and I wasn't winning any awards in them, but Nick and I both agreed it was an acceptable outfit. By the time I got home I was considering trying on ALL my pre-pregnancy pants. I mean, they just need a little stretching, and they will TOTALLY work!! That was...until I went to get off the pin striped pair. And I COULD NOT get the button undone. The sliding clasps were easy enough, but the button. THE BUTTON!
Seriously people. I COULDN'T GET THEM OFF! I tried to suck in, I tried to lay down. I tried EVERYTHING! Who in the hell gets STUCK in a pair of pants?? Finally after an embarrassing amount of time I manage to punch the hell out of my skin and get them undone. I think the horror is over, then I see it. The solid red band around my stomach and the perfect outline of the button in my skin. Yes. I branded myself. I figured it would go away soon, but several hours later the branding was still there. When I woke up the morning only the faint outline of the button remains. Good to know I didn't scar myself for life.
Clearly, I need a little more work before I will be fitting into my pre-IVF clothes again. A girl can only take so much.