So yesterday I had orientation for my new job. I know I have been working there a week already, but since it is a large university they just hold a catch-all big group orientation every couple of weeks or so. I know lots of people would dread this kinda thing, but for some reason I get endless amounts of joy out of actually understanding the ins and outs of my work benefits. It was a joke at my old job. If someone had a question they didn't call HR, they call me! Anyway, this post isn't about the benefits, which are awesome. It is about me being an idiot at the conference. Of course it is.
So they had a drink and pastry table set up when I came in, and on that table was decaf coffee. So I had a cup. Then another. Then another. And as I sat there I realized that, good lord I gotta pee. So I scooched out the door all stealth like and ran to the bathroom. The problem....well...I guess I went a little crazy with the coffee because about fifteen minutes later I had to pee again. I held off for maybe 25 minutes, but that was my max. I was (of course) sitting on the other side of the room from the door (next to the food table...of course) so when I had to get up for the THIRD time within an hour and a half I was like, this is getting awkward. Not ONE Other person had gotten up to pee. NOT ONE.
So, that isn't the embarrassing part yet. Here it is. On my third trip to the bathroom I was really trying to hurry. I mean, these people are going to think there is something WRONG with me! People I don't know and will never see again might be judging me!! HURRY! So I rush into the bathroom, and as I turn the corner I think, "Man...it looks different in here..." (RED FLAG!!) and then I see two men standing at the urinal. Yep. In the men's bathroom. And they didn't look at me, because I guess men don't make it a habit of waving from the urinal to all new entries into the bathroom, so I TOTALLY could have snuck out, but did I? Oh no. I was all like "Hahahah...ooops...wrong...room" as I blush fire engine red (which was really not necessary, I mean, I saw their BACKS) but still.
And really...what embarrasses me most, is that it wasn't like it was my first trip to the bathroom. I knew where it was. I had been there thirty minutes before. So...I am just an idiot.