I feel like I have been really down on the blog lately. Maybe I have just been sorta down all the time lately, I am not really sure. I fell okay. Not like I am the happiest I have ever been, but definitely okay. Who knows. Anyway, I noticed the blog had taken a turn for the Negative Nelly side, and wanted to fix that. I told myself that I would NOT write a depressing post for at least week. Seemed extremely doable. Then I took Henry for his second official hair cut.
I guess I need to first tell you how much I love Henry's hair. It adore it. I love it when it is wild and crazy in the mornings, I love washing it in the tub, I love it as it bounces as he runs and plays all over the house. I know a lot of people with boys go for the buzz cut as soon as possible so as to not have to mess with hair, but that just isn't me. I love my moppy headed baby.
His hair is still baby thin on top, but has started to thicken out on the bottom. I had noticed he was starting to take on a little "party in the back" look, so thought I needed to take him in to get it shaped up again. Just a little bang trim and shaping. I didn't want to change the look, just clean it up. I can't remember my exact wording but I know I used "Shaggy" "I like him moppy headed" "I don't really want it to look much different, just trim the bands and get rid of the mullet look, but KEEP IT SHAGGY".
Then she got out the scissors and started to cut. And after the very first cut my heart sank. I mentioned again that I really wanted to stay the same, just clean it up... but I knew it was too late. She assured me that was what she was going, but it was clear she didn't get it. She had no idea what I wanted and since I didn't bring a picture* she just went with what she THOUGHT I meant. At the very end she got out the clippers, just to clean up the bottom she said. And I wanted to stop her, but at that point it had to be done. She had cut his hair in a way that meant it needed it. I fought the tears there. My eyes swam with them, but I held them in. She told me not to cry, that it was adorable. And it was, it is. It's just not what I wanted. My sweet baby looks much less like a baby today than he did yesterday. And that just breaks my heart.
Here is a before picture:
Sharing his very first milk shake with his Papa
And an after picture of the back...
And I know it will grow back. I know that. It's just hair. I know I am over reacting. It's just... it was my babies hair. And I loved it so. Growing it back out is just different from cutting it off for the very first time. So I cried. A lot. More than needed. More than was rational. But it felt like just one more piece of his babyness was now gone. And I wasn't ready.
He, on the other hand, doesn't seem to mind in the slightest. (check out that eye color)
* I just tried to find a picture of what I want, and I couldn't. There is one on Facebook of a friends little boy, but I wouldn't want to post that. I know what I want, but if Google images can't come up with it, maybe it isn't exactly a common look. Oh well. We will start growing it back out today.