Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Still Infertile

So, you know that FET? The big Last Chance FET? It's still happening. Just wanted to make sure you all were in the loop. I keep having traffic from Cycle Sista and I know people are expecting to come here and read about this cycle. I mean, that's what a normal person who blogs about infertility would be talking about. The daily shots, the emotional out breaks, the fears, the excitement. All of that...it's all happening. But I guess I feel like I have said it so many times before. I am just blank on how to repeat the fears, the hopes, the excitement.

I have nothing really new. Just... we are still trying. Still hoping. Still waiting. I have been on the Lupron for nearly a month now. Amazing how time flies. Each night Nick gives me my shot and we go back to whatever we were doing. Sometimes it hurts a little, I have a few bruises. One that is rather impressive. I was suppose to start my period after around seven days on the Lupron. Mine didn't start for 18 days. Because I am awesome like that and just love to be different. I went in last week for an estrogen level check and also had them take a peek at my thyroid levels. All results came back good. We are on track. We are just trucking along until transfer.

So...I am still infertile. Still fighting like hell to bring home a second baby. Still worrying about the thaw, worrying about the embryos, attempting to prepare myself for a possible negative. Still hoping and praying that God knows what he's doing...but that he also agrees with me. That we should have another child. All I can do is keep going. Keep shooting up Lupron praying that this is it. Because either way, this is the end. I am hoping that the end of June brings two pink lines and a future take home baby and not the new challenge of finding peace with being a family of three.

Hormone patches start in two weeks. Transfer is a month from Saturday. It's all here, it's now. And even though I have never had a problem thinking of things to blog about in regards to our attempt to create our family, I find myself drawing a blank. A blank full of hope...and also full of fears of a heart ache that I don't feel ready for.

10 comments:

  1. Thinking of you, Sarah. I sincerely hope that this last chance FET works.

    <3

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  2. Sending you love and prayers sweetie! I have so much faith that the embies will stick around for 9 long months. (I'm kind of partial to March babies... ;)

    xoxo

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  3. Hugs hon. Fingers crossed tightly.

    xoxo

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  4. Oh I so, so hope this last chance FET works for you guys... I am thinking of you and hoping for you every day! xx

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  5. Sending prayers and happy thoughts your way.

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  6. I know the feeling you're talking about. We can't keep saying the same things every day to everyone, and we can't keep writing the same things over and over on our blogs because even we get bored with hearing it. I know I have moments where I think the same thought over and over and over and then just wish my brain could shut up and move on.

    I really hope that this last cycle takes. It is so hard to be in the limbo phase, hoping and dreaming and fearing all at the same time.

    For what it's worth, I've got my fingers crossed, and I'm praying for you.

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  7. it's coming up fast! good luck!!! you'll definitely be in my thoughts and prayers!

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  8. okay so maybe you can do an update for idiots like me who don't know the whole story. why do you have frozen embrios? maybe i need to read farther back or something. but maybe you could just post a little background for people like me who are clueless as to what exactly you are going through

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