Monday, August 6, 2007


my Aunt Mrs. Who and I must really think alike...I just sat down at my computer to catch up on my blog reading and then to write a post...basically the EXACT same post that she has written strange is that? Not that strange considering in many ways I am my aunt's clone, but whatever.

I am officially going on a diet. I am now the biggest I have ever been in my very depressing. I have always been a very thin person. This might sound conceded to people who don't actually know me, but this is not a bragging statement...I was THIN. Rail thin, so think that when I was in school every year my teacher would come up to me and say, "Now...I think we need to talk about your eating disorder." I was not that very sexy skinny, but rather, I was a five foot nine pile of sticks and bones (my mom is now sitting at her computer saying how beautiful I was, but you know...she's my mom). I eventually gained a small amount of weight my senior year and started to look healthy. I would even agree with my mom, and say I was pretty stinkin' cute.

That size lasted for about five or six years. Then one day, I just realized I was a little bigger. There was this strange skin sitting on top of my jeans...could that be fat? Yes, my friends, it was indeed fat. Now, I let it go for quite some time. I figured, hell, I need a little weight anyways. That was what I had always heard. I did join a gym, and then went about ten times. I basically said screw it. I had always eaten EVERYTHING in sight, and it was not a habit I was willing to give up.

Then...I went shopping. I had gone up one size, and was fine with it, but I was Christmas shopping with my sisters and I kept trying on the size six jeans, and there was NOWAY they were going on. Now, this was the kicker. I shrugged my shoulders, went and grabbed the eights...and they were tight as hell. I burst into tears. Over reaction? Maybe. It was just not a problem I was used to. I ended up joining weight watchers. I didn't tell many people I was going, because really I was still rather thin for my height. I was just getting bigger fast. In everyones head I would be so crazy, but I knew my body and I knew that I had no idea how to eat correctly.

Now, I am a rather obsessive person. When I do something, I really DO it. I was all about the WW. I wrote down everything I ate, kept track of my points, made sure I had the right number of veggies, and what not. I ended up dropping fifteen pounds and getting my lifetime in about eight weeks. This was a few years ago. I did well maintaining, going up or down a few pounds, but really staying about the same....until after the wedding. Apparently post wedding I decided I was going to eat whatever the hell I wanted. Eat out for Mexican and Chinese everyday for lunch...good. Large sweet tea from McDonald's...good. Starbucks....good. I realized this weekend that the eights are back to being tight as hell...I weighed and found out that I am now bigger than when I started WW in the first place. I am not sure how I have gone back to eating everything in sight, but I have done it. So....WW here I come. I am not actually going to meetings...yet. I am going to start back into my diet, track my food (oh god now I realize how much I was eating) and see if I can do it with Boo, Charing and Rhi. If not, then I will go back to the meetings. the one thing I do know is that I have to get it under control now. It will only get harder. Now...if they could just make diet food taste as good as gravy and biscuits or cookies and milk...stupid fat.


  1. I told Shawna we were doing WW and she said..."Your sister!? Why!? She needs to gain weight not lose it!" and I told her that she was now your best friend! :)

  2. oh lord, she is!!! I love her!