Friday, September 19, 2008

A Question

I was actually going to take the day off of blogging. Not really for any reason beyond I have nothing to say (not that it ever stopped me before) and I realized I have been posting, like EVERYDAY, and thought you might want a break from the rambling. Then I thought of something I really wanted to ask you guys. Something I hope you will leave answers to in the comments or send me an email about. I have never actually asked for feedback on here before (I hate rejection...and if you all DIDN'T comment then I would feel like a big you feel like you gotta answer don't you?? Awesome.) but this one I think at lesat the mom's can easily here goes...

I have been thinking a lot about pregnancy lately (SHOCKING). More than that, I have been thinking of a woman's intuition. How you hear that "You will just know" when you are pregnant. It always seemed so logical to me. It is this huge thing that is happening in my body, shouldn't I have a clue it is happening? Should I be SHOCKED with a positive pregnancy test? Is anybody ever really shocked? I think it is rare. I think (totally just assuming here...but this is part of the question) that when a woman finds out she is pregnant, the answer in her brain is "I knew it...". It makes since. Your body has been trying to tell you something is different. But what about when you are looking for it? Searching all signs for proof that you are pregnant. Should you just know? What if month after month you have hoped and thought maybe....then is it harder to know? What if you have struggled with infertility for years. Would you still just "know" or is the knowledge visible more post confirmation rather than during the wait?

This is all coming from me repeatedly asking myself "do I feel pregnant?" and I keep just answering myself "I have no fucking clue what being pregnant feels like. How would I know??" So, her is the official question to all moms and moms-to-be. Did you actually know you were pregnant before you took the test? Have you struggled with fertility? Did you ever have the feeling you were pregnant and then be wrong? Were you ever convinced you weren't pregnant and then you were shocked with the positive? And for the infertility girls who had IUI's and IVF's no work...did you know before hand that it would be negative? I can answer the last one and say no. I feared they would be negative, but I was always at least shocked on some level. Maybe it was that the hope was gone, but I never just knew it was negative...

You don't actually have to answer each question, just the basic idea. I would really appreciate it if you would let me know if you had fertility issues with your answers. I think those of us who have struggled might have a harder time believing the least I feel like I would. Thanks a lot for helping me out! Your answers will keep me sane while I wait for my test (THAT IS ONLY SIX DAYS AWAY!)


  1. Ummm, yeah. We're dealing with severe MFI. So there are issues.

    I have no idea how to answer your questions, because I have never had a positive pregnancy test.

    I can tell you from reading alot of IF blogs... PG syptoms often mimic AF symptoms, so I do know quite a few people who were shocked. I'm sure there are people who 'just know'... but off the top of my head I can't think of examples.

    I think the longer a person deals with IF, they try not to set themselves up for a positive PG test, as it protects them (a bit) from the upset of a negative test.

  2. I KNEW do just know! I got five preggers test just to MAKE SURE. I am known as a multi-tester at the doctors office. Your body will tell you.

  3. I hoped but I can't say that I really knew I was pregnant either time until I got the official word from the doctor. (home pregnancy tests had not been INVENTED then) Gah. I am so old.

  4. My situation was a bit different, as we have not dealt with any fertility issues. However-I totally knew I was pregnant before I took the test. I felt different, and I am not entirely sure how to explain this except.. hot and sexy.
    I know it sounds totally silly. But it's true! I felt pretty and happy and womanly. I had several "good hair days" and "nice skin days" in a row there, and all of a sudden it was like, when was the last time I had my period? Oh. Wait.

  5. I wish I could answer your question but I'm actually at the moment wondering the same thing myself after our first IUI! I'm constantly looking for any symptoms, any strange feelings, anything...

    I know however many people who had no special symptoms before finding out they were preggers. And then again I know those who "just knew it".

    I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you :)!

  6. I know I can answer this honestly on behalf of my wife.

    We have issues, well one really, no bloody baby.

    Unexplained infertility is the current official line.

    For the last 18 attempts I know my wife thought she might be pregnant, and never once was.

  7. I'm going to say NO! If I felt that I "knew" it, it would only be because I realized my period was late. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with Luke your sister figured it out before me! I was dizzy one day at school and she said I bet you're pregnant. I was like no way, that's not possible. Well on the way home I bought a test and sure enough she was right. No fertility issues though I hate to say that to you. My heart hurts for you because I can see how badly you and Nick want this and I want it to work out for you so much. I look for you daily updates so keep them coming! I think you are handling this VERY well. I hope the next 6 days FLY!

  8. I never just KNEW I was pregnant. My only clue was that my period was late and at that point my brain would start obsessing on the idea that I might be pregnant. Then I would absolutely HAVE to know and I'd go buy a test and take it. Every time I've thought I WASN'T pregnant and I just planned on taking the test to ease my mind. I've done that at least 10 times in my life and been pregnant 3 of them. So, nope, no intuition there.

  9. 4 kids and a few miscarriages and I never bought a single test. I always had the feeling I was and just went with it.

  10. You're getting good feedback here. I haven't gotten pg yet, but one thing I've heard is that all the IVF drugs can mimic symptoms, too. Progesterone particularly. So try not to obsess too much. Your beta day will be here soon.

    Maybe a little retail therapy as distraction?

  11. Wow - you're getting some great feedback! I've never had a positive test, and I can't wait for YOU to tell us all what it's like very, very soon!

  12. I went through many months of "thinking" I was pregnant. Because our minds are so powerful, my body began to feel pregnant. Extremely tired, boobs hurt, etc....only to find out on day 28 that I was not pregnant. When IVF worked for us, I had no idea I was pregnant, we were hoping, until I took my first test. I had become cautiously optimistic after all the let down, and was happy to find out at the end I was pregnant.
    Counting down the days...

  13. 3 rounds of IVF - first time I was sure it worked, until AF came to visit 2 days before my test. 2nd time I had no idea and I got a BFN, 3rd time I was sure it didn't work and I ended up PG with Twins. So if you ask me it IVF/2week wait just messes with your head!

    Anyway good luck to you and hoping to hear Positive things from you very soon!

  14. I don't quite know how to answer this. In my first year or so of trying, I often hoped that I was pregnant, but was never "sure" (and never was. In my second year, I never thought I was pregnant, and never was. In my IUI cycles, I didn't know what to think, and I wasn't pregnant. In my first IVF cycle, I knew I wasn't pregnant. And in my second IVF cycle, I knew that I was. And I was. So the only time that I really "knew" it, it was true, but I already had a negative IVF cycle to compare it to, so I knew that things were very different. I still think it was more than that, though. It's hard to explain, but for the first time in over two years, I felt hopeful when I took the test.

  15. Both times I was pregnant, I didn't think I was. We had been trying for months, but both times it succeeded, I thought it had failed. Especially with my second. I was in complete shock seeing that positive test. I had no symptoms whatsoever, and my temp had dropped a little so I was sure I wasn't pregnant.

    The month before I conceived #2, I was absolutely sure I was pregnant. Felt nauseated, etc., and just *knew*, or thought I did. But AF arrived in full force.