Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I am an Idiot. The End.

Do you ever get in a hurry when you are doing house hold chores. Like, say you have the day off work and in your head you were going to be super productive and like, clean the house and do the laundry and clip coupons and go to the grocery and...well...you know, get crap done. The thing is that then you forget about the time change and sorta sleep really late, and run out the door for an appointment (without showering, which wouldn't be that bad but the appointment isn't until noon, so if you can't find the time to shower before noon you feel sorta lazy...) and then you come home and you WANT to get started on house work...but you are hungry so you make food instead. And while eating you figure you should go ahead and watch Lost...and then go ahead and watch Brothers and Sisters too...and sure, you could be doing laundry, but you will get to it...eventually.

Next thing you know it is like three o'clock and you still haven't showered, and that is just ridiculous. You jump in and get clean, then start tossing anything you can see into the washing machine so you can at least say you got ONE thing done on the list. You are in a tissy, because you are calculating the time it will take you to get to the grocery store and back and so you aren't paying attention...and you toss the jeans you had on this morning into the wash...because they were on your dirty self before the shower. And then you start clipping the coupons, not a care in the world.

About ten minutes later it hits you. Where is your cell phone? No. You are sure you must have gotten it out of the pocket of your jeans. You could not have just washed it. No. NOOOOOO. You run the the machine and start pulling ever item out until you find the jeans. And they are buzzing. This doesn't seem good. You grab for the pocket and pull out the cell. There are bubbles under the screen. Damn it. You pull out the battery. You attempt to dry it off. You put the entire phone in rice because you think you heard somewhere that it will draw out the water. it only gets stuck in the inner workings of the phone and you are now unable to even close the phone all the way. You wait several hours to put the battery back in. It starts buzzing again. No picture under the bubble screen. You yell at the phone to stop buzzing...but then it does. And now it won't do anything. And it is your only connection to the outside world. And you miss it. And you feel bad for yelling at it. But it is gone. And no apologizing it will bring it back. You are phoneless. And you didn't realize how much you loved your phone until now.

You accept that it's gone and get online to file an insurance claim to get it replaced. They give you a number to call. If you had a PHONE to call the number, you wouldn't have a problem! You are annoyed...mainly with yourself. Because you are a total idiot. Maybe you should just give up on laundry all together. Deep down you think this is really all the washing machines fault. It has always had it in for the cell phone. It knew the cell was your favorite of all the electronics. Stupid washer.


  1. You put RICE on the phone to absorb the water??? Hahahahahaha!!!! Too funny. Sorry about your phone.

  2. Evil washer plotting against you! I have heard the rice trick, too.

  3. I once dropped my phone in a full glass of ice tea while in a restaurant. I couldn't get my hand down in the glass because it was too narrow, so I screamed for the waitress to bring me an empty glass and, long story short, I got it out of the liquid. However, it was easily in there for 3-4 minutes before I could get it out. Of course, I thought it was ruined and, of course, it didn't work. However, I took it home, took it apart, dried it as much as possible (not with rice) and then just laid out the separate pieces and left them alone for a couple of days. They dried out, I put the phone back together and it worked fine for as long as I owned it. Try spreading it out and letting it air dry. It might work.

  4. I am sorry to hear about your phone. It was great writing that had me laughing. Sorry. I hope your phone comes back to life. Curl up and find another show to watch. It will make you feel much better.

  5. Well you aren't an idiot because I did the same thing (washed my phone). It's totally the washers fault. It should have some kind of sensor for these types of things.