The New Plan

Two posts in one day.  Things are getting crazy around here.

I talked with the doctors office.  I apologized for all the tears yesterday.  You all, I can't really discribe them, but they were epic.  Like the woman most likely went home and told her family about this crazy girl who couldn't stop crying. She will one day tell her grandchildren about it.  There was one of those deep gasping sob things that happened.  Okay, it happened twice.  It was unfortunate.  And today... after a night of rest, I felt the need to tell her "yes. I know that was intense.  Sorry about all that emotion..." . I was able to have today's conversations without a single sobbing deep gasp for breath incident.  As a matter of fact, I only feel a couple of tears fall, and I like to believe she didn't even know they happened.  (LET ME BELIEVE IT)

She of course said it was all fine. (like she could say, "yeah... you were out of control") She also told me the Doctors wife is doing okay.  Which is really good to know. Had she been really hurt bad I would feel even worse about my overwhelming display of emotions and being all "What about MEEEEE?!?!".  It was just unfortunate timing for the call to come in yesterday.  She caught me at a REALLY bad time. I was so uncomfortable, was coming off of a ten hour shift, my third in three days, I had child care and dinners arranged, laundry finished, everything was ready.  And I was just so done with dealing with this pain. But still, in the light of day, I was a touch embarrassed.  I hate the way I cry when I feel bad, but it is an uncontrollable force and must be accepted.

ANYWAY, my surgery.  I was hoping they could get me in with a different doctor tomorrow, but at the same time I was uncomfortable with a stranger doing my surgery. My doctor and I have been together a long time and I see him specifically because he is a great surgeon.  But since he only does surgery on Thursday, and  as previously mentioned, another week of this pain is out of the question, I was resigned to it. Well, after they talked with my doctor he said he would rather do the surgery, and will come in before the office opens on Monday and do it then.

So... that is the plan.  I am at the surgery center Monday morning at 6am.  I will have to take more time off work, but that's okay.  I am off tomorrow, so I just have to get through the weekend, which will be fine.  And with the surgery being on Monday, we should still be a go for Henry's birthday party on Saturday.  It is all working out. Thanks god.

Thanks for listening to me as I have emotional meltdowns on here.  I know it is a little much to read (think of the poor nurse) but I really do appreciate you all and your support.  Hopefully on Monday I will finally start to feel better.  Hopefully on Monday I can turn off the damn tears and start feeling like a normal person again. Fingers crossed.