Thursday, August 14, 2008

Correspondence

Dear Acne,

WHY? Do I not have enough to deal with these days? I know how you love to plague teenage girls, but seriously, I am 28! This hardly seems appropriate. I am actually washing my face and yet you still arrive (yes, I know I am typically lazy with washing my face, and yes, I know that is gross...but I can't help it). I hear that you commonly invade peoples foreheads...how kind of you! They can then at least cover you with hair...attempting to avoid people noticing that they under attack. Unfortunately with me you have chose my chin...a low blow acne. A low blow...

Your arch Nemesis,
Sarah


Dear the Weather Man,

I would like to thank you for the 60-70 degree days. I realize that maybe it is not you that is responsible, but it seems wrong to write a slightly sarcastic letter to God (plus, I might have more important things to say to him...), so I am hoping you will pass along the message. I gotta tell you, you have outdone yourself this time. Our normal weather is in the hundreds right now, and yet I feel like we are in the middle of October. I am not sure I could survive the hot flashes in the 100 degree heat...so I really appreciate the global change!

You biggest fan,
Sarah


Dear China,

That's right, a letter to the entire country. Do you not realize what an opportunity you are wasting. Everyone was saying what an amazing opening ceremony...the best ever. Then we hear that you had the girl lip sync the national anthem because the real singer wasn't pretty enough to represent your nation! We hear that you are forging documents so that underage athletes can compete! Do you not realize that if you do 99% of things the right way, and then 1% the wrong way, the world will remember the wrong? It's a bummer, but it's true. Just thought someone should tell you...

Hoping to prevent anymore stupid ideas,
Sarah

10 comments:

  1. It has occurred to you that the hormones you are on are probably causing acne-correct?
    During the beginning of my pregnancy with Moose I had bad acne, luckily it was replaced with the preggo glow during the 2nd trimester.

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  2. I am ultra jealous that you are experiencing NON 100 degree days. We are not so lucky. Of course, I read this right before I go to do my 2 mile walk in the heat, wearing as little as possible while still covering my cow thighs.

    I having weather envy.

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  3. My face totally exploded with acne after I came off the pill over a year ago.. And hasn't recoverd so far. Nice!

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  4. I HATE washing my face too, which should come as no surprise since we are basically twins (putting aside the age difference for the moment). I wash my face in the shower in the morning, but then at night, I use L'Oreal cleansing cloths. Swipe, swipe, dry with towel - done!! I know Pond's makes some too and you can probably find some for acne. Check it out.

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  5. I just stumbled upon you blog and I think you're hilarious! Definitely going on my reader!

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  6. I would be happy to take your Acne if I get to be 28 again! :)

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  7. China =

    Forced child bearing rules. No religious freedoms. No freedom of speech. Olympic child-training compounds. Dog farming and consumption. Prison torture. Chinese invasion of Tibet. Political prisoners. Tiananmen Square.......

    I can go on and on. To say China is 100% wrong is a better assumption.

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. You crack me up! The acne...yeah, I'm right there with you. It totally sucks.

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