Thursday, August 28, 2008

Me vs. The Copy Machine

I hate our copy machine at work. HATE IT. Every time I think I have the hang of it, it eats my report, shreds my paper...basically ruins my life. Today...the battle finally came to a head. I tried to make some labels. Innocent little labels. I ran the sheet threw the copier...and of course...a jam. I open all the little secret doors and find my sheet of labels. I pull...and the page of labels rips right along the perforated edge. My hand holding half the sheet of perfectly made labels, the other half completely eaten by Rosie (I didn't name the copier such a sweet little name...the bitch came with it...).

After a solid fifteen minutes of laying on the floor trying every conceivable angle to get the paper out (including taking out the toner, which then got EVERYWHERE) I caved and went for help. Tarp came to the rescue. We both worked and pulled. We used pliers and tweezers...another thirty minutes goes by. I am basically just watching Tarp work, but finally I get antsy and jump in to help. I get my set of tweezers and start pulling with him. That's when it happens. A very clear "pop"....and I break a metal piece off the copier. Tarp and I both stare at it with huge eyes...OH GOD. I have actually MAIMED Rosie!!

Tarp assures me he can get it back on, but gives me a slight look to back away from the machine. I listen...for a while. Then I jump back into the action, not thirty seconds later we hear another "pop"...another piece of metal broken (I didn't know my own strength!!). Tarp takes the tweezers from me, and gives me this look. He then says, "You are FORBIDDEN from touching the copier again!!" He turns to get back to work, and I let out a loud sigh. He turns back to me (I am pretty sure there was pity in his eyes...I had a little toner on my face) and he said "Please, don't ever be a dentist"

A solid thirty minutes later Tarp (with the help of more help from me)got the entire thing working again. There are a couple of labels stuck inside, but they don't seem to be doing any harm. He just set the two broken metal pieces inside the machine...hopefully they aren't to important...I will be avoiding Rosie from now on!


  1. Reminds me of my battle with the fax machine at that terrible contracting company I worked at... Let's just say my boss came back and I was standing in the room with the deer-in-headlights look, blood dripping from my lip and sweat sliding off my head... I quit a few days later. I can only imagine what my (terrible, horrible, disgusting) boss said when he went to change the toner in the fax machine only to find it being held together by scotch tape.

  2. oh too funny! it's like me growing up with the darn vcr. it always eats my tape when i try to use it.


  3. This is so funny because I was just watching "Office Space" the other night - that old movie with Jennifer Aniston. They hate their copier so much, they steal it, take it to a field and take a sledgehammer to it.

  4. Hysterical---the first time I smiled all day was reading this post

  5. Don't ya just love office equipment. The copier at my old job always used to do weird things when I used it! Good luck with Rosie

  6. I think that perhaps you should step away from Rosie....she may retaliate. :)