Thursday, November 7, 2013

Nick's Seven Level Scale of Destruction

So yesterday Whitney sent me a link to an article from our local news group discussing how we should all bet terrified of killer meteors... or something like that.  Basically, it said that scientists used to think these things were rare, but they have changed their mind and now... DOOOOOOM (possibly someday).

I, for one, consider these types of articles ridiculous.  I mean, why get worked up just because they increased the rate of giant meteors from once every 150 years to once every 30... we still have 29 good years before we are due for another (kinda cool as long as it doesn't land on you) giant rock streaking across the sky.  But dear Whitney* has a tendency to read these articles with a touch more terror than I do... she has more of the "WHY GOD WHHHYYYYY?!?!" reaction.  That's each their own.

So, she sends it to me, and I quickly debunk it.  Bla bla... 30 years... they have no idea... get worried when they say "There is a meteor.. it's big.  We named it  The Doom Rock".  You know they are serious when they give it a name.  But for some reason (was it because I was mocking The Doom Rock??)  this did not calm her fears.  No, instead she informed me that she was going to have to refer to Nick on this one.  Which... Whatever...  I am JUST as smart as Nick.

Actually...that's totally a lie.  I am really not.  I mean, I am smart in a DIFFERENT WAY.  Like, street smart, or more accurately public health and blog writing smart ... that's me.  But when you think of SMART smart, like calculus, physics, working on nanoparticles and particle accelerators for a living smart, Nick wins.  Plus, with his degree in Physics and his general knowledge of all things space related, people tend to TRUST him more. But he didn't think of the name DOOM ROCK, so I win at something.  

ANYWAY, Whitney sends him an email asking how worried she should be.  Soon after, she got his reply, which she sent me, and I am now sharing with you... because I adore my husband and find him hilarious.  If you find him less funny than I do, that's okay.  He's mine anyway.


Whitney's email:
I'm gonna need to know your level of concern over this:

Nick's Reply: 
On Nick's Scale of Destruction, 1 being low and 7 being high; I think we are at a solid 5.
Nicks Scale of Destruction:
  1. I think the bible was wrong about sinning. 
  2. Going to church makes me feel good, but going just on Easter this year is fine. 
  3. Do I really need to read the bible? 
  4. Independence Day Roof party 
  5. Invest in Prayer beads 
  6. Old Italian Catholic Lady screaming prayers in Latin at the grocery store. 
  7. They cloned Jesus from the shroud of Turin 20 years ago; he turned out to be the Antichrist and is amongst us.
So are we having a rooftop party next July 4th and I should buy prayer beads?

Probably both to be on the safe side.
 He is my favorite person. 

*Whitney would like me to point out that she MIGHT over-exaggerate her fears of such doomsday events for comedic effect... except when it comes to the zombie apocalypse.  She says that shit is terrifying. 

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