Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Bad News

So I had a really bad day yesterday. My endo really got the best of me and I was not able to do anything to control the pain. I was taking my pain medication...times three...and it still was not enough to let me even fall asleep to get away from the pain. I called my doctor and after several very tear filled conversations (one with the full blown sob and then deep gasping breathing trying to get a hold of myself...just a touch embarrassing) with the nurse they got me an appointment for this morning.

I went in, talked to the nurse, talked to the doctor and basically found out exactly what I expected. Looks like I will be having another surgery. The doctor then decided to do an ultrasound to see how things looked. You usually can't see endometriosis on an ultrasound, but you can sometimes see it's aftermath. When the adhesion's pull things out of alignment, you can tell something is up. I was laying there, basically in misery, as the tech took a good look at all my goods. She freezes the screen and writes "right cyst". I say "oh, do I have a cyst...I just assumed the pain was all from the endo". She then says, "oh, yea....but this one is NOTHING compared to the one on your left side".

So, she scans over to my left ovary. I know a little about ultrasounds, and things look a little strange. There is a very large blob...it looks to big to be my ovary, but then where in the hell is my ovary. Should be right there...hmmm...so of course I ask. She then tells me that basically you can no longer see my ovary because it has been completely taken over my this HUGE cyst. The she goes on to tell me that it is very unusual because the cyst has an echo...excuse me?? Are you telling me my cyst is so large that it has a pulse?!?! Yep. That is what she was telling me.

The doctor then came in and told me that actually what is going on is that my left ovary was covered in endometrium, then the cyst covered over all of that. I know it is always a little funny that my body loves to grow new things...but now my new additions are growing their own additions. I'm sorry, but this is really fucked up. I am having surgery two weeks from Thursday to go in and clean out all the endo...plus take care of my mutating ovary/endo/cyst problem. At least they know I wasn't faking the pain... I really just want to cry. Instead I am going to bed.


  1. Oh honey, I'm so sorry you're having so much trouble with this damn endo stuff. It's such a pain, literally and figuratively speaking. I'm holding you in my heart. Love, AC

  2. You are right. It's fucked up, but, honey, they are trying to repair the damage. I'm so sorry for all your pain. Hang in there. Try not to look at the dark side and hang on to HOPE and prayer. There's a world of people out here that love you.


  3. I'm sorry to hear.. I will think of you and pray for you.

  4. Oh, dear, that's just awful! No wonder you were in so much pain. I can't believe you have to wait that long but your mom said the doctor was going to be out of town. I hope you are not in this much pain for the whole time. We'll talk Saturday about how we can help you during your surgery time.