Does everyone know about The Heat? It is that hot feeling that runs through your body at the exact moment you put your foot in your mouth...or it comes when you have just been caught...or you think you might be caught, doing something you shouldn't really be doing. The heat is a strong sensation, your ears burn, your heart rate picks up...your body goes on high alert. Directly into damage control. I know this heat well (as does Charing, who talks about it a lot)....maybe too well, but whatever. The point of this post is not to tell you all exactly how often I seem to put my foot in my mouth or get caught in the wrong...it is to tell you that in my evaluation....that's right folks...I was struck with a serious case of The Heat.
There I was, sitting in my evaluation, things going really well, me thinking everything is perfect and I am so tip top wonderful that nothing can go wrong...and then they say something about being on the computer. No big deal here, I say to myself. I am 99% on the computer for work stuff. Sure, I check my personal email, but that is mainly it. We only have one computer in the lab, and it is slow as hell. When I am on it, I am working. So, I am thinking the personal email might come up. Okay, who doesn't check theirs, right? No no. They say that they had checked the history on the computer (all friendly talking here, no mean daggers or scarring situations) and that we had been on person email...5/3 bank...bla bla bla... then it happened..we had been to Bio Girl. HEAT. It was a passing comment, nobody dwelled on it. I don't really think they come to the site, or read it daily or anything. If they stuck around and read it, they didn't seem to have problems with it, but still... STILL.
My mind starts racing. Oh God, Oh God...seriously...you all know about this? I mean, sure I have been to the blog. I check in every now and then....and I do understand that I am posting all my thoughts and feelings for the world to see, but somehow I never really thought they would read it. I start thinking back...what did I say....last post, last post...SHIT. Talking about the self evaluations. HEAT.
Then I thought a little more. I really do like my job. I don't think I have ever said anything bad on here about it. I talk about work, but never in a negative "stupid company" kind of way. So...you might be surprised I am talking about this on here...drawing even more attention to it, but I have given it some thought and figure better to take the bull by the horns....so here is my letter to work...you know, in case they ever come back to see what I have to say about life in general....which I am pretty sure they wont do, but just in case...
Dear wonderful company that I work for,
Let me first point out how I never EVER would even think about using your name on my blog. See how I never do that? Really good of me, right? If you notice, I don't even use my very unusual last name, so basically I am totally incognito....no client will be googling us and find this blog. No way, no how. I will also point out how I only use the names of coworkers who know they are on the blog...yet again I am really on top of things. Also take note of how I never say anything bad about you all because I totally love my job and all that jazz...and I think you all are tops...and I really appreciate the rocken evaluation you gave me. Yep... that was awesome. Totally made my day, or my week even. So...thanks for stopping by. (*sigh*...*heat*)
Your Favorite Employee,
PS All that stuff about thinking the self evaluations were dumb...totally a lie. I LOVED filling it out. That's right. I thought it was a wonderful look into myself. ummm....*heat*