Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Correspondence

Dear Diet Cherry 7up,

Where have you been all my life? As soon as I tasted your cherry sweet caffeine free goodness I wanted to cry. How lucky am I that someone realized the deliciousness of a Shirley Temple and managed to put it in an easy to purchase can. You make my days better my dear friend. I hope that we can continue this relationship for the rest of our lives. Thanks for everything...

Lots of Love,
Sarah


Dear Sweet Tea,

Why must your torment me so? With all of your sugary sweet goodness. You are all I ever want. When I go out to eat I am always drawn to you...and now they have you for $1 at McDonald's...ONE DOLLAR! How could I say no to you? You are so bad for me, and yet you taste so good...Still I must tell you that our love affair must end. I blame you and only you for the weight I have recently put on. It has nothing to do with the second helpings or the cookies and pies. It is you old friend. And you must go. I will miss you.

I Will Always Remember,
Sarah


Dear Margarita,

Hola mi amigo. I know you have been upset with me lately, and I feel that I should explain. I do see how nice it is outside, and I hear you calling me to join you on the patio, but I need some space right now. You see, the old surgeon general made this big to do about how you are bad for me right now, so although I love you and our summer fun, I just need some space. maybe sometime over the next two weeks we can get together and "just talk". Nothing serious though. I just cannot make a summer commitment to you at this time.

Yours Truly,
Sarah

6 comments:

  1. I will talk to margarita for you

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  2. Dude, Sweet Tea got the shaft! You left him for pie and cookies... On a public blog. Now that's cold...

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  3. I have a similar relationship with the Chocolate Cherry Diet Dr. Pepper, as you know. But it's not monogamous. I also go out with Caffeine Free Diet Mountain Dew. I am such a slut.

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  4. Margarita, Diet Cherry 7up and I an intimate and deep relationship at one time. Sweet Tea was just a part-time lover. My waistline will vouch for that. I had to give them all up because I was (I'm sorry, I mean AM) tired of my 4 YO asking me if she was going to be having another new baby brother or sister soon and I always answer the same "no, honey, that's just FAT."

    Thanks for stopping by my site and commenting!

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  5. Oh Dear God - Diet Cherry 7 Up is cheating on me!!! That little b-----d! Uh!

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  6. Hilarious and awesome post, Sarah!
    LOVE IT! :D

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