That is of course, assuming that I make it that far. I keep thinking how fast my last cycle seemed, and then I remember that I started spotting on day 23. I will find it a real triumph just to make it past that day, which is fast approaching. I am now at day 21. Seven days after IUI. Seven days until I could trust the results of a pregnancy test. I am thinking that due to my last cycle being so short, I will have an extremely hard time if I make it to day 28 without starting, but them am not pregnant. I kinda have that "if I make it to test, then it will surely be positive" feeling. I am fighting it, and I know it isn't true. I have had 42 day cycles that didn't result in a pregnancy, but I still feel like day 28 is somehow magical at this point.
There is a world of difference between last months cycle and the cycle I am currently in. The intense anxiety is gone, which I gotta tell you, I am thrilled about. There is no more of the laying in bed just thinking for hours and hours. The constant knot is not in my stomach. I am okay. Now, that is not to say that it is not an obsession. The constant thought in the back of my mind is "please, please, please..." but I guess I have mentally prepared myself for another no. The two week wait is killer to anyone struggling to get pregnant, but I am back to acceptance. I know our odds. I know we are a long shot. This time I am at peace with it....but still incredibly hopeful.